A Few Clarifications

1. I am totally cool with The Wild Child not being ready to potty train. In fact, I am all about waiting until age 3, which is what we did with The Politician. I am just super-tired of finding discarded diapers all around the house and Mr. Sasha was none too happy about cleaning up pee in the Rose Petal Cottage, and she peed (diaperless because she removed it herself) not once, but twice, in her crib this week while sleeping.

2. Mr. Sasha and I both actually took longer than 9 weeks to complete the Couch to 5K Plan. When you read about the plan at www.coolrunning.com, they say that it's OK to repeat weeks if you don't feel ready to move on. So I have to admit that we did that several times, and I think we both got stuck around week 5, and I may or may not have repeated said week for 2 months or so. I think it really took him about 5-6 months to lose the total 60 pounds. But. Still. It's awesome. Promise. Get on the bandwagon and be cool like me.

And this is not a clarification, but just an FYI- I am having a weird allergic reaction to God knows what because I woke up with the left side of my face swollen and red and my eyes were not agreeable to contacts. Not sure what's up, but this is not a good day for random problems. Mr. Sasha is scheduled for Lasik surgery in a bit, and I totally planned on doing lots of magazine reading in the waiting room while he recovers (he's quite the baby so I imagine he'll be in recovery for longer than the normal person). I did not plan on having to relive yesterday in my brain to figure out what's going on with my face. Hopefully this will be short-lived. I mean, I've got a new Us Weekly to read- I need to read "Destroyed By Mama: Shame on Lynne Spears"!

The Politician's Teacher Is Quite the Comedian

Note from school yesterday: "The Politician had a good day. He is very helpful by tell me if his friends are not behaving. Ha!"

Yeah, I can totally see this happening. I have heard that I did the same thing myself.....

Don't Shoot The Messenger

Found these Nabisco 100 Calorie Packs Chips Ahoy! Candy Bites (along with the Oreo ones) at Wally World over the weekend, and they are a huge hit. An even bigger hit because my box of Oreo ones had 7 packs instead of 6! Extra for me! Really, they are awesome and kind of whoppery. The Politician and two of my coworkers declare them a success.

I love the 100 calorie packs because I am the worst at portion control, so these are no-brainers for me. In WW speak, most sweets are my "red light food", but these packs makes sweets doable. My personal favorite of the 100 cal packs are the Lorna Doones.

OK, so I haven't tried these Hershey's Trio Kisses, and Walgreens was stupid enough to block out part of the package in their Sunday ad, so I can't even tell what the third thing is (dark chocolate? peanut butter? coca cola?), but I bet they are rockin' awesome. I ran to Walgreens yesterday to try to find them, but they didn't have them yet (then why did you have them in your ad?), so I will try again tomorrow and report back to you.

So I really feel it's my duty to try out new products and report to my friends what I think. I mean, there's no sense in you buying something I've already tried and know sucks, right? I totally think one day some big-wig at some food/candy/makeup company will run across this blog and say, "Hey, this chick totally has her finger on the pulse of America's young moms- we totally need to pay her for her services." So I'm just putting that out there- I'd love to!

Run Like the Wind!

Mr. Sasha "before" the Couch to 5K Plan

Mr. Sasha "after" the Couch to 5K Plan

You may have noticed my little graphic on the side that says "Running Mom". After The Politician was born in 2003, I needed something to help me lose that pesky baby weight. Mr. Sasha (former college football player) suggested running and I reluctantly agreed to give it a try. Someone on the bargain board posted about the Couch to 5K plan from http://www.coolrunning.com/, where you go from being a couch potato to running a 5K, and I gave it a try.

I am telling you, it is the best! I am a former smoker (I know, I know, but it was so cool in the early 90s and honestly I still miss it terribly to this day, but I swear I'll never smoke again) and my chest would always feel like it was going to EXPLODE when I tried to run. But the C25K really really really teaches the beginner how to run. You have to take it slowly, and not get frustrated and quit. I promise this plan can teach anyone how to run.

I lost all my baby weight, plus about 10 pounds. Mr. Sasha did the plan along with me, and as you can see from the above photos, lost about 60 pounds.

Being an accountant, I felt it necessary to create a spreadsheet to help me keep track of the running intervals. I watch TV while I run on the treadmill, and I found myself getting confused about when I was supposed run and walk. So I have a trusty little spreadsheet that I will be glad to email anyone who is interested. Just shoot me an email at barelytogether@yahoo.com and I'll send it your way. And I hereby volunteer to be your running coach. Any questions you have, any motivation you need, you can count on Sasha!

Available for loan

Available for loan: One extremely precious almost 2 year-old. I will take her back once you've got her potty trained, though.

Seriously, I much preferred The Politician's method of training. He simply refused to even sit on the potty, until right before his third bday, when he totally changed his mind and fully day-trained within 1 week.

The Wild Child is wearing me out and I am not at all ready for this. She took off her diaper and peed in her bed at nap again today, although she did pull up her pants after removing her diaper rather than sleep nekkid. My friend Slim has suggested duct tape, and by God, I'll be trying that.

All day I've been finding her discarded diapers on the floor and frantically searching for her, praying that she hasn't decided to pee on the carpet, because she sure as hell doesn't want to pee on the potty. We've tried an Elmo insert on our big potty, and even the little "Royal Potty" that is just her size. She may sit on there for a sec, but she's off in a flash, her bare little bottom running away from me as fast as she can, laughing hysterically at me.

Mercy. Uncle. Seriously. I don't know what to do but laugh.


Here's that shot I've been promising of my little rock star. Watch for him- he'll be big one day. Hope he can sing better than Mr. Sasha and I can.

Oh- I want to do some online shopping at Sephora since I didn't make it up there on Monday. Any ideas on new products to try? I want to get to $75 to get free shipping. (Isn't that logical?) Traci, this is your bag- ideas for me?

A Day to Myself!!!!!!

So I had one day of vacation left, which I could carry over to 2008, but hell, I'm not going to leave anything on the table, so here I am at home, ALL BY MYSELF!!!!!!! I am so excited for a Sasha day!

Here's what I have planned for today:

1. Polish off next to the last Aunt Luanne Christmas Cookie, washed down with full-sugar Coke
2. Run 4.5 miles on the treadmill, while watching last night's Amazing Race (that will negate the cookie and coke)
3. Shower
4. Do some laundry (loves it!)
5. Return stuff to Walmart, Target, Best Buy, TRU, Kohl's (because I tend to overbuy and return later)
6. Go to Sam's and do some shopping (beer, chicken wings)
7. Go by the bank and deposit some birthday money
8. Go by the tag office
9. Go to Sephora!!!!!!
10. Possibly drive to Ann Taylor Loft
11. Go to Coach and order those damn earrings no one got me (although Mr. Sasha totally redeemed himself forever because he got me the black Carly I wanted!)

Yay for today!

Text Messages

Text messages I received from Mr. Sasha today while gone for 3 hours visiting with 5 sorority sisters I don't get to see very often:

1. The Wild Child just took off her pants and diaper and peed in the floor of the Rose Petal Cottage. What do I clean it with?

My text back: Clorox Anywhere Spray

2. I assume you ate one of my trees? (he is talking about the two Reese's Peanut Butter Trees I brought home to him from work outage food two weeks ago)

My text back: You snooze, you lose.

3. Your daughter pulled her diaper off while sleeping and peed all over her pink blanket. At least she was aware enough to throw her wet blanket and bunny out of the crib and go back to sleep naked.

My text back: Wow.

You Win Some, You Lose Some

Today's note from school #1: The Wild Child had a very good day. She practiced using her words instead of biting!

Today's note from school #2: The Politician had a hard day today, but made some very good choices to correct/apologize for his mistakes.

Tall Tales

So last night about 9:30 I was in my room catching up on Crowned, which by the way, you should totally be watching (Carson Kressley! Shanna Moakler! Trashy plastic-surgeried moms and snotty daughters compete!), and The Politician came into my room and said, "Momma, Sissy came into my room and spilled water in my bed."

I said, "Hmm.. I don't think that's possible, seeing as how she's asleep in her crib and can't get out."

"Well, I think she did it before she went to sleep."

"Yeah, I don't think so, P. I think you must have done it yourself. Now get back in bed and go to sleep."

So the tall tales begin.

About time for chores

Last night, unloading the kids from the van after school/work:

The Politician says, "Momma, I think it's time to wash your van."

OK, P, why don't you take care of that since you have so much time on your hands......

Holiday Recap, Part 2

My MIL got me this awesome Bare Minerals kit and I am so excited to use it! This AM I used the gloss over my Stainiac in Beauty Queen, and it is so pretty and smells divine!

She also got me the above key chain in mahogany to match my Carly- so pretty!

And my SIL got me a Clinique kit similar to this one above. So fun!!!!!

Mr. Sasha is currently in route to the Coach store in The Big City, seeing as how the navy earrings were huDge (tm Ashley) and totally not huggies as the manager assured Mr. Sasha over the phone. I was disappointed when I opened them and saw how big they were, but hey I hid it well, because it's the thought that counts and he was totally trying to get me something he knew I wanted. But bonus, the original earrings I really wanted are now back in stock and back on their website, so hopefully they can send some our way.

I need to figure out what Mr. Sasha and I are going to do on my birthday Saturday. I was thinking dinner and the movies, since the only times have been to the movie theater in recent years were to see Alvin and the Chipmunks and Cars. Any ideas? We have pretty much all the big name chain restaurants around here, and I like comedies/chick flicks, most dramas and spy thriller type movies. We have a sitter all lined up, so it's a night on the town for the Sashas!

Holiday Recap

Oh, ya'll. It seems like so many funny things happened over the awesome holiday weekend, but I am getting old (34 on Saturday!) and forgetful and I bet I forget to tell you a lot of things. So you may get a holiday recap that has installments for a few days.

1. The Politician is totally uninterested in his V.Smile Pocket. An excellent use of $49. I am thinking of taking back the 2 un-opened games that I paid full price for. I totally should have known better- he likes to play with "stuff" like construction vehicles and trains and I just don't think he'll be a video game kind of kid.

2. He totally did not notice that there was no yellow fire truck. I had this big story concocted that Santa ran out of yellow paint, but didn't have to go there. He did get a red fire truck at his great-grandmother's, so that makes about 7 fire trucks in his possession.

3. The Wild Child dis-robed not one, not twice, but three times during various present openings. Once when my fam was here to put on a new t shirt, ones at the great-grandmother's to put on some Dora PJs, and one last night at Mr. Sasha's family Christmas, when she opened her stocking and found PullUps. She dropped her drawers, pulled off her diaper and tossed it aside, and handed me a PullUp. Everyone in the room was dying laughing at the bare-bottomed little turkey waiting patiently for me to help her into the PullUp.

4. All she really needed for Christmas was Dora house shoes, because she put them on yesterday morning and refused to take them off (except for bath last night) and even slept in them last night!

5. I can't believe I forgot to bring my camera to work today, because he was totally jamming out last night with his new guitar, and it was precious. I'm telling you guys, he's going to be a major rock star and I'm going to be his cool mom who travels with the band.

Gotta go print some paychecks, but I bet I think of more later! Hope your holiday was merry! On a side note, Lexapro is my best friend and I totally did not have the usual anxiety attack at Mr. Sasha's family Christmas celebrations! Yay me!

My son the comedian

Last night on the way home from Christmas celebration #4:

Momma, so when will it be Christmas again?

Birthdays and Cookies

This morning, Mr. Sasha went to get The Wild Child out of bed and he said "Good morning! It's Christmas Eve!"

The Wild Child said, "Cookies!"

I am so pumped because my aunt was just here and brought me her world-famous (well, famous to Sasha) decorated sugar cookies, which are 100 times yummier than those pictured above. These are so good, that Mr. Sasha didn't even know about them for the first few years of our marriage because I hid them from him and rationed them out, having one for breakfast with my Coke in the laundry room with the door shut for about 2 weeks. I'm really stingy with them and they are quite important to me. I share a few now, but still hide some (shh!).

If you are in my neighborhood, stop by because I have an large amount of ham, potato casserole and about 15 Santa Fe rolls left from Christmas Eve lunch. One of my aunts and her Mr. and her boys and their wives totally punked out on us and didn't show. Told you I have a nutty family. Just more cookies for me!

The real meaning of the season: My kiddos have been walking around singing "Happy Birthday Jesus!" which they totally learned at church and I am just so proud. I am trying to raise some thoughtful, kind, reverent children who understand what's it's all really about and I think I'm doing a damn good job.

Today, I'm feeling pretty good, almost like I've got it all together! I imagine this feeling won't last long, so I'll just enjoy while I can.
Merry Christmas to you all! Now quit reading my blog and go hang with your fam!

Two "Oops"

1. Poor Mr. Sasha. I opened up my email on Friday morning to read this from Coach: "Dear Mr. Sasha. Thanks for purchasing these earrings. They have shipped today. Thanks for your business!" Gee, Coach, thanks for emailing the gift recipient so she'll know what her present is.

The only thing we can come up with is that they tied the mailing address he gave to my account, which has my email address on it. I ended up telling him and he was pretty crushed. If you've been following my blog, you may have noticed that those aren't the exact earrings I requested. Seems Mr. Sasha waited a little too long, and the plain silver were out of stock. Actually, there's a much longer story that involves a new employee at the Coach store in The Big City losing his order and CC number, but I won't bore you with that.

The navy really looks pretty, and my watch face is navy, and navy is actually my all-time favorite color, so no big. But I do feel bad for Mr. Sasha.

2. And The Politician- he just about spoiled his whole Christmas this afternoon. He was supposed to be taking a nap.... I waited until he was in his room about 20 minutes, then started unpacking Mr. Sasha's trunk, which has been the hiding spot of all the gifts since Black Friday. I just brought the last load into the kitchen, turned around, and there was P! The gifts were pretty much all in sacks, so I don't think he saw much, but he was confused about what it all was, and wanted to make sure all his presents had gotten loaded on Santa's sleigh. I covered by saying some of it was for his cousins, and some for grandparents. Whew.

I better go check on The Wild Child- she is playing play dough in the dining room all by herself, and I just noticed it's gotten kind of quiet, so there's no telling what's going on in there. Mr. Sasha and P went to The Big City to do some sledding on the man-made mountain.

Oh, and I never did find a yellow fire truck. I did find "a helicopter with a man inside and a hook on the bottom" so hopefully that and the V.Smile and a million games will do.

More later!

How many more days until we can take them back to school?

5 minutes before The Wild Child was going to go to bed, she and The Politician disappeared. (Actually, Mr. Sasha was engrossed in Sports Center or some such and didn't notice them leave the living room.)

Their destination was the bathroom and The Politician decided to "clean her hair" and rubbed a whole bunch of shampoo in the front of her nice already-clean dry hair. Nice. So let's just do the bath all over again.

It's starting out to be a spectacular Christmas break.

An Ode to "Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead"

The presents are done, man! (just like the dishes)

Off to have a drink.....

A Real Dear Santa Letter

Dear Santa,
I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor and sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground. I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.

Here are my Christmas wishes:

I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze, but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.

I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.

If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music, a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals, and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.

On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.

I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your brother," because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.

If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.

If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is calling and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back.

Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you don't catch cold.Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.

Yours Always,

MOM

P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.

I totally can't claim this... got it in an email today and wanted to share.

Should you be feeling generous

I only need 2.5 Pampers Points to order the Kettler Tricycle for our preschool.

I need about 100 Coke Points to order a $50 gift card (full disclosure, that is for myself.)

Should you feel like sharing, or have some lying around not getting used.....

Email me at barelytogether@yahoo.com.

Love ya!

Dec 20th- seriously?

If you lived close to us, The Politician and I would share our pretzel goodies with you! We need to whip up some more and take some to some friends. Excuse the big white block on there, had to remove some personal info.

Had to share this pic taken the day of the Christmas program at school. The Wild Child loves to dress up and twirled around saying "Pretty!" after she had her dress on. I got her a Barbie dress-up outfit for her birthday and can't wait to see what she thinks. Mr. Sasha thinks she will want to wear it 24-7.

I have so much to do that it's not even funny. What I am doing blogging??????

I did get my ham ordered yesterday, although they didn't want my name and said all I needed was to bring in the confirmation number they gave me over the phone. Only problem- I can't seem to locate that. Hope that it turns up before tomorrow.

Also, totally lost my blackjack on the way to work today. I heard it ringing, but couldn't find it. I actually had to borrow a co-worker's phone once I got here and go out to my van and call myself to find it via sound! Hey, it worked!

Raindrops on Roses

and whiskers on kittens... blah blah blah.... these are a few of my favorite things.

Orly Bonder simply rocks. I always use this before my basecoat and my nail polish never chips off. Seriously. My pedicure will last a month and I have to take my polish off because of new growth, not because my polish looks bad.

Clinique Cream Shaper for Eyes in Chocolate Luster. Smudgable. Smooth.

Have I told you I can't wear perfume? I get sick to my stomach smelling the same smell for any length of time. But this is nice and light and fresh smelling, and totally doable.

Oh, now here's the best. Saved it for last. This is the best. lipbalm. ever. If you've never tried it, get in your car and drive to your nearest Sephora and fork over $22 or whatever it costs because you will love me for it.

5 days????

I am super stressing out. I am hosting Christmas Eve at our house for my side of the fam, and I have a lot to do. I need to get off the computer and call Honey Baked Ham right now and hope that it's not too late to order a ham to be picked up on Friday afternoon. My mom is insisting on a ham from there, and even gave me money for it, so I better make it happen. Plus I haven't finished shopping, and Mr. Sasha hasn't actually looked through all the stuff I've purchased for the kids, so I'm not sure how that's going to go. I think I went overboard, but we shall see what he says. I still have two BILs and four dirty santa gifts to get, along with a gift card from somewhere (thanks Tina!) for my 16 year old cousin. Damn, damn, damn. I so need to plan better.

Note from school yesterday: "The Politician did so well in PE. He ran so fast that everyone clapped for him and yelled 'Yeah Politician!".

So glad my lunch-stealing, spitting bully is speedy.

And yup, that's Blake Shelton. We went to the same high school and actually drank many a beer together back in the day. Super guy- seriously.

One More Present Down, A Million More To Go

Mr. Sasha ordered his own Christmas present yesterday- yay for me! It's some fancy-schmancy golf bag with dividers to keep all his million dollar clubs separate, which is very important for some reason. So that's one thing done. One I am really having trouble with: my 16 year old cousin.

Mr. Sasha took The Politician with him to a family birthday dinner last night, and I kept The Wild Child home with me, because the prospect of her in a steak house was not pleasant. The ILs and everyone else dining at Salt Grass should totally thank me for that.

I pretty much spent the evening: searching for her diaper that she had taken off, convincing her to put it back on if she didn't want to sit on the potty, following her around while she moved the Elmo potty seat from bathroom to bathroom, following her back to her room when she said "Come on!" and then getting the door slammed in my face as she died laughing. Oh, it was a riot for sure.

Her pronunciation is flippin' hilarious right now. She is just trying so hard to saying everything I say. She had an eczema outbreak, and I told her I was going to put some cream on her "itchy spot". She repeated "pitchy pot". So stinkin' cute.

A Trip to the Dentist

You Veronica Mars fans will recognize the title, but alas, I must change it to "A Trip to the Office".

On The Politician's sheet today: "The Politician has to go to the office today for spitting on a friend in Spanish class, and on a teacher in the bathroom hall." (The italics were a Sasha touch so you'll take special notice of his completely inappropriate target.)

Lest you think there was one office visit, please note that there were two. This must be some kind of record. Now he has only been to the office one other time (the Mashed Potato Incident), so the asst director said it was not that big of a deal. But still... am I raising a future bully? He better gain a little weight if he's going that route. I don't know of many bullies in the single digit percentiles for weight.

Oh..... and be sure and watch Clash of the Choirs this week- it starts tonight.... someone I went to high school with is directing a choir...... yes, he's a star! Guess who?

Something for your viewing pleasure

Oh, ya'll. I noticed last night that my Tivo picked up a little gem for me- my very most favorite show from Summer 2006, that was, of course, cancelled.

And I'm sure you didn't see it, because no one did! (besides me!)

It's called Lovespring International and is a mock dating agency show, with a little improv thrown in. It's absolutely perfect humor. Of course, Mr. Sasha did not get it, but he sometimes did not get Arrested Development either. You have to be as cool as me to understand it, I suppose.

I just found out that all the epis are online. It's Required Viewing, as far as I'm concerned.

Check it out here and let me know what you think. It's under "Full Episodes" on the left hand side navigation bar.

A Crash Course in Meteorology

...FREEZING FOG ADVISORY NOW IN EFFECT UNTIL NOON CST TODAY...

WTF is "freezing fog"????? I am learning all kinds of new terms this week... snow showers... freezing fog... what's next? Stay tuned for more crazy weather from the southwest!

Two Guys and a Saw

..... and no insurance, I'd imagine.

No way in hell I'm letting "Two Guys and a Saw" clear limbs out of my yard. I can just see the lawsuit from them getting injured working on my property. I am 100% sure they weren't bonded, seeing as how they looked homeless and I can only assume unemployed.

Seriously, no less than 6 people have rang our doorbell or left us fliers offering their services to clean up our yard. The ice really brings out the crazies.

Waiting on the snow to fall tonight. We still have some of our customers without power, and the local IOU still has over 100,000 out of power. The local schools are still closed, but my wonderful daycare has been open since Wednesday. Love them love them love them. Although The Politician is having some lunch issues there, which I will post about once I sort out my opinion on the whole deal and how I plan to handle it.

And holy cow, I still haven't done any more Christmas shopping. They have been brining us lunch in so we can just work through our lunch hours, so no shopping for me (Target, have you noticed?). I fully expect Visa to call me and ask about the unusual activity on my cards (none!). Still have no ideas for Mr. Sasha.....

You've Got To Be Kidding Me

My local forecast:

Tomorrow night: Rain and snow in the evening, becoming all snow late. Low 27F. Winds NNE at 15 to 25 mph. Chance of precip 90%.

Saturday: Snow showers in the morning. Highs in the mid 30s and lows in the low 20s.


Just asking: What's a "snow shower"? I assume it will be raining snow? Like snow so fast and so much that it looks like rain?

Dear Santa,

We love you so much, we even let you come take a picture with us.

A guitar and fire truck (yellow) and a helicopter with a man inside and a hook on the bottom. That’s only what I want for Christmas.

I have been a good boy, but Sis has been biting someone.

Sissy wants an Elmo with a guitar. And she needs a green balloon, her favorite color.

Daddy wants a shirt like my PJs that I have on right now.

Momma wants a girl guitar.

Our neighbor L needs two fire trucks (his favorite color red) and M needs a girl guitar.

That’s it.

Love, The Politician, age 4 1/3

The Sasha Family has power

Well, thank goodness we only had to spend one night at the ILs. Cause as much as I appreciate their hospitality, my kids ate way too many M&M while there were there. Plus they have a super-annoying Grandfather clock that chimes every 15 minutes. Right outside the bedrooms where our whole fam damily was sleeping. I just don't get g-father clocks. Who wants a constant reminder that time is passing by? Yeah, yeah, I know all about it- I swear The Politician was just born yesterday, and he is already 4 and back-talking me.

I'll try to post a pic of our street later- so very sad. Lots of beautiful trees that probably can't be saved. We'll have to call our tree man, who is normally shirtless and smoking a cig, all while manning large cutting apparatuses. Wonder what he wears when it's 32 degrees?????

Ice Storm Hell

Ya'll, it's bad here. The worst ice storm since The Ice Storm of '87. The Sasha family was without power, so we drove to Mr. Sasha's parents for the night. I am back at work this AM. The IOU that serves my home had over half a million customers without power as of last night.
The crazy thing is the road are fine, it's just the ice on the power lines and trees. Our street looks terrible- our house is about 35 years old and our street has lots of beautiful established trees. The are all broken to shit. So sad.

The real problem here is that I was going to bid on a black Coach Carly that ended on ebay last night, but since the power was out and we were at the ILs, that didn't happen. Damn. I really have my priorities in order, don't I?

A Note of Congrats

Just wanted to write a little note of congrats to a dear friend (you know who you are!) who got a BFP over the weekend! I had the greatest pic of her tests in my inbox this AM. What an exciting holiday surprise! You are a wonderful mom and I am so excited for you to experience that second child, and also to see if your second is as much of a hell-raiser as my second is!

If we were closer, I'd run over and give you a big hug! Since we're not, I guess I'll settle for this little post, addressed directly to you! Hugs!

"Wintry Mix" my ass

Yeah, it's straight ice.

Good thing I only needed to turn right out of my driveway this AM, because turning left would not have been possible. Lots and lots of trees broken and down because of the heavy ice we got yesterday and last night. I have a million things to do today, but most of my town does not have power. Luckily, our trees look OK.

Schools are closed here today, so daycare is closed too, so Mr. Sasha is home with the kiddos today. Nice thing about being self-employed. He went down to his office before I came to work to get his laptop so he could get some work done from home today, but the power was out so he had to go back to the car and pray that at some point when it was my car, maybe I might have put a flashlight in there. And of course since I am Safety Patrol, there was one in the glove box. Score one for me!

Hope your weather is better than ours. Snow is pretty, but ice is nasty.

Have I told you my new theory about "plans"?

So I've come to the realization, maybe due to Lexapro, that "plans" simply suck. You've really just got to roll with it, change your plans as necessary, and just let go of your expectations. It's really refreshing to have this outlook, which is so different than how I lived the first 33 1/2 years of my life.

Anyway, Mr. Sasha started telling me last Wednesday that he wanted to take the kids to look at Christmas lights on Friday night. I told him it had been a busy week, I would have to make my NMB on Friday night, and hey, let's just see how things go and not try to make any plans right now.

FF to Friday, and Mr. Sasha is pretty insistent that he wants to start this new "eating out and looking at lights tradition". But he's also running late, and doesn't get home with the kids until 5:40. By this time, they are hungry and rummanging through the pantry pulling out whatever they can find. Mr. Sasha is just insistent that we go out to eat, so I tell him it's got to be quick because the kids are hungry. After finishing dinner at a fast food restaurant, we head over to the ritzies to see their beautiful lights. About 5 minutes in, The Wild Child starts crying and saying "Home. Home. Home." Then The Politician chimes in "Yeah, I just want to go home please."

Tee hee. I just knew the night wasn't meant to be. Mr. Sasha needs some Lexapro.

WC Update

Chompy McChomperson did great in the Twos yesterday. They said she was wide-eyed all day and had a great time with all the new toys and such. *sigh* I can't believe my little girl is almost two..... And I also can't believe that I haven't even THOUGHT about her birthday and if we are going to have a party, etc. Damn these Christmas bdays (mine is the 29th....)

When we picked up The Politician yesterday, Mr. Sasha said, "Hey, your sissy is in a new room now! The Twos!" and P said, "Yeah, dad, I already heard." Funny how word gets around a preschool so fast.

Tomorrow is going to be C-razy. The Christmas program at the school is at 8:45 am, then the Christmas parade downtown at 10 am, then my work's childrens Christmas party at a local family fun place after naps, then we have a progressive dinner for our new Sunday school class tomorrow night. I am making the fabulous Neiman Marcus bars and I can't wait to eat one. Or 10. And to introduce them to new people. Who will be asking me for the recipe, so I will make sure to have copies in my purse.

I still haven't gotten a Christmas gift for The Hardest Person Ever to Buy For (aka Mr. Sasha) so I am constantly thinking about that. I did get him John Grisham's new football book and season 1 and 2 of The Office, but I need something "big".

And crap, I also have to get birthday presents for WC.

Wow, can't believe how fast December is going by. Tina, your Christmas ticker just keeps pissing me off because I realize just how much I have left to do and how little time there is.

Are you done shopping?

As of 10 am this morning

My little piranha has been moved up to the next classroom - the "Twos" because we can't get her to stop chomping on the "1 1/2s".

If that doesn't stop the behavior I totally understand if they have to suspend her- I can't imagine there's anything left to try....

So please, dear blog readers, cross all your fingers, toes, and whatever else you got because Momma's pretty much out of vacation time until Jan 1 and it would be super-hard to line up childcare for WC for an entire week.....

My Little Troublemaker

was involved in a little incident at school yesterday- a group of ornery little boys decided to stop up one of the sinks and flood the bathroom, and yes, The Politician was involved. Whether he was an instigator or a just participant, I don't know, but he was definitely involved. Gee.

Also, I'd been telling him for about 2 months that the grocery store was all out of Fruit Loops (little white lie in order to push the somewhat healthier Cherrios), but he of course spied them when he tagged along to the store with me last night. "Momma, they finally have fruit loops!!!!!!" he said as he was tossing boxes of them into our cart. Oh well, 2 months of not having super-sugared up cereal in the pantry is better than nothing.

Name Game

I was just tagged by ElleBee so here goes! I do reserve the right to substitute because I am a little leery of stalkers.....

1. Witness Protection Name (mother's and father's middle names): Kay Jordan

2. NASCAR Name (first name of your mother's dad and father's dad): Jack Harvey

3. Star Wars Name (first three letters of your last name, two of your first): Lamsa (small substitution here)

4. Detective Name (favorite color, favorite animal): Blue Monkey

5. Soap Opera Name (middle name, city where you were born): Lyn Small Town

6. Superhero Name (2nd favorite color, favorite drink, add "the" to the beginning): The Pink Whisky Sour

7. Fly Girl/Guy Name (1st two letters of your first name, last two of your last): Sart (another sub)

8. Gangsta Name (favorite ice cream flavor, favorite cookie): Chocolate Aunt Luanne's Christmas Cookies

9. Rock Star Name (first pet's name, childhood street name): Velvet Place

10. Stripper Name (favorite perfume/cologne, favorite candy): Happy Skittles

I tag: Kate because she loves being tagged and Traci because she probably needs a break from unpacking.

My little helper

Last night, The Politician said, "Momma, the laundry in the dirty clothes basket is getting really tall!"

Yes, I know, why don't you start a load of darks?

My Inner Slut

evidently does not exist. Even after an Italian Marg (Bartender: So just a margarita with amaretto subbed for the triple sec? Me: I don't know, that's what I'm paying you for!) and a few diet coke and vanilla rums at the lesson place, I still had trouble letting loose. Really, I had quite a bit of trouble "getting it" since I just don't have any upper body strength (cause running builds no arm muscles...) and although there was one "turn" I could sorta do... I just wasn't as good as....

My sister in law and the birthday girl! Seriously, they were awesome. Not as great as our obvs professional instructor (I bet she had another job to get to after we left at 9:30 pm), but they totally got it and were spinning all around that pole. I told Mr. Sasha his sister was seriously good and maybe she has her own pole in her bedroom and he said "Yeah, I don't want to think about that."

The instructor ("Ebony") was actually pretty cool, but I was put off by some of her wording: "Shake your cookies, girls!" and "Now stick your girls out and shimmy down the pole." I have several bruises on my knees and even on the top of my feet (???) and I was absolutely painfully sore yesterday and Sunday and that's why I couldn't update you any sooner. No, actually Mr. Sasha hooked up his new laptop in place of my desktop and I lost all patience figuring out Windows Vista and how to freakin' get on the Internet, so I had to wait until I got to work today to blog.

Political funnies: "Momma, my belly button looks like a cinnamon roll." (and it kinda does!)

Also, he was helping me make some Reese's Peanut Butter Bars (don't get all excited and ask for the recipe, it was totally a kit from Sam's) and I gave him a bowl to stir and he said, "Actually, momma, I'm not really able to do that."

The Wild Child absolutely wore me out at the Advent Festival at church last night. I literally chased her around the church for 2 hours and oh my God, she's almost 2!!!!! I totally don't have control and I don't know what to do about it. She just looks at me and laughs and runs away from me as fast as she can! But she's learned how to say "I wuv ew" and my heart totally melts and I just snuggle her tighter and thank God for all my blessings. Now wipe that tear away!

Well, I guess I'd better get to work since I have 100-eleventy (tm Tigger) things to do today. Have a great one!

Blog material just FALLS into my lap

You're not going to believe this.... I am going to a pole dancing class tonight. That's right. And I am SO not the pole dancing type...

My sister-in-law called yesterday and said she is throwing a spur of the moment bday party for one of our sorority sisters who I absolutely love. And it just so happens that it is a pole dancing party. We will have drinks (I suppose to loosen us up) and learn some moves. Mr. Sasha is intrigued, as you must imagine. One of my co-workers told me yesterday, "If you play your cards right, you may not have to get Mr. Sasha a Christmas present after all."

So stay tuned, I am most positive I will have some interesting stuff for you.

Oh, and Santa

You totally don't need to get me this, cause I just ordered it for myself using my Amazon rewards!!!!! Yay!!! One of my favorite shows EVER!

In the span of 5 minutes

1. The Wild Child took off her diaper and PJs pants and put on a pair of The Politician's car undies. If there weren't so many Pervy Perversons out there, I'd snap a pic for you cause it's actually pretty damn cute.

2. The Politician managed to lock us out of the shower/potty area of our bathroom. And we don't have a key to that doorknob.... And an after-hours locksmith is somewhere north of $100, and I know this because I have had to use their services before.

Ya'll, I can't make this shit up. It's just that crazy at the Sasha house.

SHIT (So Happy It's Thursday)

I almost forgot one of the funniest parts of the Nativity Scene Hunt- we also found the angel driving the Little People ice cream truck, I suppose in case someone needed a frosty treat on that wonderful night.

Last night The Politician was helping me sort laundry out of the dryer, and he saw his Christmas PJs that he had worn for the picture the night before (yes, I did laundry again, told you I love it!). He said, "Hey, I think I'll wear those again tonight because I actually looked pretty cool in them last night."

Rebecca, you can probably get a better deal on the shoes anyway ordering directly from Piperlime yourself. They have free shipping and free returns, and of course since you are a Bargain Boardie, I am sure you are registered w/ ebates and can get a little rebate there. If you aren't..... see my link below! (I'm shameless, aren't I?)

Oh Rebecca, I just looked and they are out of 6.5s at Piperlime! I haven't sent them back yet, but I would need $53.75 (what my mom paid- $50 plus tax) plus whatever it would cost to ship them to ya. Leave me a comment and let me know!

Just a few things

1. So I'm breaking myself of nose spray today. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. I simply can't take cold meds because they make my stomach feel icky. So it's been a few weeks and I know it's time to go cold turkey. Last night was the night. It's so hard because Afrin is the Most.Awesome.Thing.Ever. I go through this same cycle every time I get a cold. Mr. Sasha gets all mad when he sees me using it, but I always tell him, "I always stop....."

2. After reading a post from Tina, we got our Little People Nativity Scene out on Monday night, and against my better judgement, we left it out within reach of The Wild Child. After I hunted for missing Baby Jesus for 20 minutes last night, I had Mr. Sasha look and he found it in a bag of clothes I had set by the door to return to a friend. Good save, Mr. Sasha.

This morning we were cleaning before the cleaning lady comes, and I noticed that not only was Baby Jesus missing yet again, but also Mary and Joseph. Mr. Sasha found them in the play room when The Politician was playing with his fire truck before bed last night. Baby Jesus was up in the bucket, and Mary and Joseph were in the front seat, with Mary serving as driver. See, he's pretty smart- Baby Jesus saving the world and all and Mary and Joseph getting him there.

3. I finally decided that I think I will order my cards from Snapfish- my favorite online photo site. There are a few good codes right now- GOCARDCRAZY for 20% off, and AFFORDER30 for $30% off $30 or more. AND I will also go through ebates, because they offer 10% back!

Here's the sign up info if you haven't signed up for ebates yet! (If you do ANY online shopping, you totally need to sign up!)

Through December 31st, 2007, Ebates has new bonus: I tell my friends about Ebates and we each get a Holiday Bonus: $10! Just sign up through this link. They just sent me a check this week, and I've gotten back over $150 since I signed up!

https://www.ebates.com/refer-a-friend/signup/holidaybonus/index.htm?id=26179778

By George, I think we got it!

Things just work better when you don't push it. We spur-of-the-moment decided to put the Christmas card PJs on the kids after baths last night. They were in good moods, so we stuck them in front of the tree and I snapped about 20 shots. Above is the best one, and I think we'll just consider it done and use that pic. They are both happy, clean, and pretty damn cute if I do say so myself. If we tried again, it would just be a nightmare and I'd have to do a "Merry Freakin' Christmas" card because they'd be so pissed off and would certainly cry.

So, done! Now I just need to decide how to have them printed up......

So what do you think?

Shoes came today. Yes, I did have them shipped to me instead of my mom- cause I've got a strange foot that can vary from 5 1/2 to 6 1/2, so I had to order 2 sizes to see which one fit (the 6 did).

I switched the laces from blue to brown and I think I like them better. They are kinda retro, which I am not, but I think they are cool. But what do YOU think? I don't want to be all nerdy and weird and a dork to boot, so just let me know if this is a bad fashion decision. Still have time to find something else for mom to give me for Christmas!

School pics

Holy crap, I just figured out how to get this copyrighted pic on here!!!! Of course, I'm not trying to do anything illegal, just show you guys how precious my little hellions are. The pic turned out pretty cute, especially since it's was taken at school. Phew, that was hard work, but I learned something new today, so go me!

On another note, I totally played the Santa Card yesterday, and told The Politician that it's very important to be good because Santa is watching and really wants him to be a good boy before Christmas. I stayed away from "If you are bad, you'll get no presents!" but I guess I implied it.... He was being rascally this AM and after I got on to him, he said, "So Santa is watching?" "Yep, buddy, he sure is...... Better etch that in your memory."

So I guess after Christmas, it's the Easter Bunny I can use?

Right now Mr. Sasha is....

plunging the toilet in our bathroom because The Wild Child put an entire roll of toilet paper in there in less than 10 seconds.

And we just discovered that she also unrolled the entire roll in the other bathroom, although she stopped short of putting it in the bowl and left it in a nice pile on the bathroom floor.

And I probably kept her bottom half dressed about 45% of the time today.

The Politician is Just Like Momma

Today I was cutting up a banana for The Wild Child, and The Politician said, "Momma, will you please move the banana away from me? I can smell it and it's making me sick."

I was telling Mr. Sasha this story, and he said that P said this to him on Friday: "Daddy, please move that orange away from me, the smell is making me gag."

I myself absolutely cannot stand the smell or taste of bananas (except for banana Laffy Taffy), although I have NEVER said that out loud or in front of P. Somehow, he's picked up on it though, and I feel terrible about that.

So go ahead and give me the "My kid won't eat fruit and it's all my fault" bead for my Bad Mommy Vest.

OMG Ya'll

I can't keep The Wild Child dressed today. I have found her in various states of undress, mostly the bottom half being what she's shed. And it's frakin' cold today.

Midday, I switched to Dora Easy Ups, and that was a huge mistake because she can take those off even faster.

I have terrible visions of her pee-peeing all over my furniture so I've spent the day chasing her around trying to re-dress her. Anytime I mention the potty, she sweetly says "No......" so I don't think it's potty-training readiness causing the nakedness. I think she just wanted to be nekkid. And difficult. And contrary. And cause me to say, "Yep, this baby-making factory is officially shut down."

Calgon.....

Shopping (shoe success) and parties

Believe it or not, two sorority sisters picked my lazy ass up at 4:45 am yesterday morning and we shopping until 3 pm! I actually just went to get a visual on this crazy Black Friday stuff, which I got a super taste of at Wally World at 5 am, and I figured if I found some good deals while I was out, that would just be a bonus. We had a super time, lots of gossiping involved and also some yummy eating and bargain hunting.


Now, this wasn't a bargain, but The Politician loves My Friends Tigger & Pooh, so when I saw this DVD, I had to get it for him, and of course I gave it to him yesterday, because it's a Christmas movie, and you can't really give a Christmas movie as a Christmas gift. I think he's watched it no less than 5 times already. Score 1 for momma.

I found The Holiday for $3.98 at Target! That was actually for me and not a gift, so I don't guess I was off to a very good start! I swear I've only seen about 4 or 5 movies since P was born in 2003, but this movie and also Love Actually were on my list to pick up this year.

And here's my shoes!!!!!!! Someone had suggested ballet flats, but since I'm only 5'2", I just don't think I can carry off flats and be dressed up. So I found these, which are an awesome compromise because they are actually a ballet flat with a little heel!!!!! They are made by Franco Sarto, who I have never heard of, and they were damn near $80, but hey, I am done. I tried on several pointy toed pair, but OMG, that broken toe is going to be a problem for me for the rest of my life. Just couldn't even smash that toe in there.... I guess that's what 4 swirls gets you.......
Last night was my niece's 4 year old birthday, OUTSIDE at 6:30 pm, and even though it was 80 degrees last Sunday, winter is finally here so it was below 40 last night. We bundled up the kiddos and continually wiped snot from their noses. They really did have a good time though, but the cake may have had something to do with that.

Hope you all had a great holiday and ate too much! I ate a bunch of Neiman Marcus bars for you. Did you make some?

8 Interesting/Random Things About Me

Rebecca just tagged me, so here goes.

1. I must wear socks in bed because I cannot have my bare feet touching the sheets.

2. I can tap dance and remember how to do all the times steps, the buffalo, pull backs, wings etc.

3. I suck at history- don't know who fought in what war, etc. I also pay no attention to politics. I figure there are plenty of people out there taking care of it for me. Please don't judge me.

4. I am a math whiz. Love me some algebra.

5. I love wearing my contacts and my eyes actually feel better with them in. When I take them out, my eyes are very dry and hurt and I have to put drops in them about 5 times during the night.

6. I cannot wear lipgloss because it bleeds so bad into the lines around my mouth.

7. I must blowdry my bangs before I do anything else to get ready in the AM because I have a cow lick that makes them crazy if they dry on their own even just a little bit.

8. I absolutely love doing laundry. Best chore ever, seriously. Sometimes I want everyone to change their clothes just so I can start the washer.

I tag my dearest Kate, who I certainly did not mean to leave out last tag. And I also tag Hello Darling, whom I adore and she might just be my BFF if we lived closer together.

Oh, and a very Happy Turkey Day to you all. May you eat too much and get to take a big nap today.

Dear Santa Part 2

Should you happen to be at Coach......

Seems like

The Politician (while pushing on my thigh): Momma, it seems like your leg is a little squishy......

Dear Santa

Please? Found here. Don't forget to go through ebates first!

Break Time

Gotta take a little break from the company budget... so, courtesy of a myspace bulletin....

I give you money and send you into the grocery store to pick up 5 items. You can only pick one thing from the following departments.. what is it?
1. Produce: grapes
2. Bakery: Lofthouse cookies
3. Meat: pork tenderloin
4. Frozen: Phish Food Ice Cream
5. Dairy: Raspberry low fat yogurt

Let's say we're heading out for a weekend getaway. You're only allowed to bring 3 articles of clothing with you. So, what's in your bag?
1. jeans
2. short sleeve T
3. Saucony tennis shoes

If I was to listen in on your conversations throughout the day, what 5 phrases or words would I be most likely to hear?
1. Probably.....
2. Actually....
3. So.....
4. Really?
5. So how's that going for ya?

So, what 3 things do you find yourself doing every single day, and if you didn't get to do, you probably wouldn't be in the best mood?
1. drink a nice cold can of Coke while I am getting ready in the AM
2. check my yahoo email
3. hug my kiddos

We're talking a 3 hour block with nobody around. What 5 activities might we find you doing?
1. running on my treadmill
2. reading Us Magazine
3. shopping at Target
4. blogging/reading other blogs
5. painting my fingernails (I haven't done this in 4 1/2 years!)

We are going to the zoo. But, it looks like it could start storming, so it'll have to be a quick visit. What 3 exhibits do we have to get to?
1. baby Gobi monkeys
2. fish
3. elephants

You just scored tickets to the taping of any show that comes on t.v. of your choice. You can pick between 4, so what are you deciding between?
1. Oprah's Favorite Things (It's on tomorrow, and the only day of the year I watch her!)
2. The Office
3. Ellen
4. American Idol

You're hungry for ice cream. I'll give you a triple dipper ice cream cone. What 3 flavors can I pile on for ya?
1. Phish Food
2. Smores
3. Cookies and Cream

Somebody stole your purse/wallet…in order to get it back, you have to name 5 things you know are inside to claim it. So, what's in there?
1. green comb
2. little black notebook with password hints
3. Blackjack
4. anti-bacterial hand sanitizer
5. bottle of Imodium from recent stomach virus

You are at a job fair, and asked what areas you are interested in pursuing a career in. Let's pretend you have every talent and ability to be whatever you wanted, so what 4 careers would be fun for you?
1. Nail tech
2. Being Kristin on Eonline
3. Attorney
4. Music talent scout

If you could go back and talk to the old you, when you were in high school, and inform yourself of 4 things, what would you say?
1. Never drink and drive
2. You are damaging your skin with all that sun worshipping and tanning bed visits!!!!!
3. Respect your parents a little more
4. Don't turn your head upside down and spray the hairspray all around your face and cement it with a blow-dryer

If anyone cares to continue this... I tag Hello Darling and In the Mind of a Thirtysomething Mom

I think I may gain my 10 pounds back this month

.... because I am all about the sweets during the holidays. Who I am kidding, I am all about the sweets everyday and could probably live off sugar. Only sugar. Really.

The Sasha family will be heading to the lake on Thursday for TG because my mom's side of the fam is getting together at my Aunt and Uncle's marina. Should be fun, although the forecast shows that the high will be 41 that day, unlike the 81(!) that we are having today. Yesterday, we were all outside in shorts and Ts raking up leaves. And then in 4 days it will be 41.....

Anyway, I am totally making my prize-winning Neiman Marcus bars, and I think that The Politician and I will whip up a batch of Holiday Pretzel Treats one night this week. He loves doing these and it really is a good treat for kids to help with.

I also plan on finally letting The Wild Child have a taste of chocolate since she's almost 2, so she'll even get to try them this year. I know I am the craziest mom ever, because even though I can't get my shit together in my daily life, I have managed to hold off on peanut butter and chocolate until both kids had their second birthday. I have nutty skin issues, and both kids have had eczema and lichen straitus (google it- weird stuff) so I figured waiting on PB was the way to go. Only time will tell.

Holiday Pretzel Treats from Family Fun Magazine

Salty pretzels combine with sweet chocolate for these fun treats that make a yummy gift few can resist. (In fact, you may want to make some extras for yourself!)

RECIPE INGREDIENTS:
Bite-size, waffle-shaped pretzels
Hershey's Kiss or Hershey's Hug
M&M's candy

1. Heat the oven to 170º. Set a number of bite-size, waffle-shaped pretzels (one for each treat) in a single layer on a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper, then top each pretzel with an unwrapped Hershey's Kiss or Hershey's Hug.

2. Bake for 4 to 6 minutes (the white chocolate will melt more quickly), until the chocolates feel soft when touched with a wooden spoon. Remove the cookie sheet from the oven and quickly press an M&M's candy into the center of each Kiss.

3. Allow the treats to cool for a few minutes, then place them in the refrigerator to set, about 10 minutes. Place handfuls of the candies in clear plastic bags and tie on colorful ribbons.

Crazy Saturday

So I ran my Turkey Trot this AM, and did pretty well, considering I've been coughing up stuff resembling small pine cones all week. I also got a terrible stitch in my side and had to walk for a bit several times, but still came in at 30:13 so I am excited. It was a nice, cool morning and I wore shorts this time, so no cussing Mr. Sasha at around mile 1 for making me wear pants.

Mr. Sasha talked to The Politician this morning, and he assured him that he was up for running the Lil Gobbler Dash so Mr. Sasha brought the kids up to the race site after I was done. I thought it was going to be a go, but P got a little stage fright and only made half a dash..... oh well, we'll try again later.

I just got back from dinner with some sorority sisters I don't get to see very often, and it was awesome. I had two Italian Margaritas, so so so good. Lots of reminiscing about crazy days and crazy things we did and all the times the fuzz let us go with just a warning rather than drag us in. I just took half a phenergan as a precaution against insomnia- I need some sleep! One of these days I know I will run out of excuses and also run out of phenergan....

Check out my awesome header made by Jennifer on my birth board! I love it and it is exactly what I had in mind. Thanks Jennifer!

One quick add: I live in a part of the country where it's not uncommon to run both your A/C and your heater in the same day... we are talking about 30s and 40s at night and 80+ during the day. Today was one of those days. Nuttiness I tell you. I wore a short sleeve T, jeans, and wedge sandles to dinner. On Nov 18. Hmmph.

Oh, today I went to Target to search for shoes to wear with my new jeans, and I came up empty handed. First of all, before I began my search, I should have totally told you that I have broken both pinky toes in the past (yes, due to alcohol, shut up) and I have a rough time with the really pointy shoes..... Help please?

Ebates Holiday Bonus Offer

Through December 31st, 2007, Ebates has new bonus: I tell my friends about Ebates and we each get a Holiday Bonus: $10! Just sign up through this link. They just sent me a check this week, and I've gotten back over $130 since I signed up!

https://www.ebates.com/refer-a-friend/signup/holidaybonus/index.htm?id=26179778

Stopping by the office for a bit

I've been in a mind-numbingly boring CPE session today- if that damn CPA wasn't so hard to get in the first place, I'd totally say screw the CPE, but I don't EVER want to have to study like that again. So I'm stopping by the office for a minute on my way to get the kiddos, and of course I have to blog for a bit before I check the alarmingly tall in-box on the corner of my desk.

First, Mr. Sasha texted me this morning and said that The Wild Child really only bit twice yesterday- the other two times her "shadow" teacher stopped her before it actually happened- fab news! They were supposed to call us today if she bit again, and with no phone call as of 3:49, maybe we are in the clear (knock, knock). I gave her a dose of Motrin this AM for good measure just to ward off any cranky-ness.

20 bucks you are wondering what's up with the above pic- well, it's a darn good thing I am numbed by Lexapro, because old-Sasha would have simply freaked out when she saw that SCORCH MARK ON HER POTTERY BARN BEDSPREAD. New Sasha just said, "Huh, what the hell? And how can I fix that?"

All I can figure is that on Wednesday morning when I was frantically cleaning before the cleaning lady came (yeah, yeah, I know) my curling iron must have still been hot when I set it out of the way and on my bed. That's all I can come up with...

Two super nice ladies on the bargain board suggested that since it is patchwork to begin with, I can just have a new patch sewn on that section, and as luck would have it, I do have an extra sham I am not using, so that will work perfectly. Except I don't sew....

Anyway, I was super-proud of my reaction and how I didn't lose it. I love modern medicine!

Tonight Mr. Sasha and I are taking advantage of Parents Night Out at our church and going out to dinner and using my gift card to Salt Grass that I won in the dessert contest with my rockin' creation. And tomorrow is the Turkey Trot and hopefully I can beat 30 minutes again, although I'm not counting on it since I haven't been able to run in almost 3 weeks because of the mysterious stomach issues and the subsequent cold that I caught. Then a bday party for The Politician to attend, Girl's Night Out with some sorority sisters.... A fun weekend ahead, and surely there will be some blog material in there somewhere....

News

Well, I got third place, which I was pretty excited about until......

We went to the TG dinner at the school the kids go to, and the assistant director stopped me and said The Wild Child has bitten FOUR times this morning! Three DIFFERENT kids.... I am just sick at my stomach. I don't know what to do. I think they are going to suspend her, and I think that's probably the right thing for them to do. I just don't know how we are going to swing it.....

She said she would see how she does this afternoon and tomorrow and then decide......

I just went from top of the world to bottom of the heap in 10 seconds flat.

Two Step Round The Christmas Tree

It's my own damn fault, but The Politician is all into the Christmas spirit and we'll be listening to the above album for the next six weeks. This album was purchased by a very drunk me after a Suzy show in 2000 in Annapolis in a little bar I can't remember the name of and re-found last Christmas and played a million times because P loves "Two Step Round the Christmas Tree".

I'm not a huge country fan, although I live in an area of the country that means that type of music is pretty unavoidable, and truth be told, I'm OK with that. Actually, I'm a mean line dancer, if you can picture that. I'm stellar at the Tush Push, although it's been a few years. And, to tell you even more, I actually wore Rockies and Ropers quite a bit since we frequented C&W bars in college.

It's really quite a good album, and we've got the cutest little family tradition where we pump our fist in the air on the "Cotton-eyed Joe" part of the two-step song. Go here to listen to a snippet and I think you'll like it too.

In the spirit of ClemsonGirl, here's some lyrics for ya: (Can someone tell me how to do single spacing?????)

Cause a Western girl, can't be still

And a silent night is not for me

Roll back the rug so we can

Two step 'round the Christmas tree

Get In Your Car Right Now

and go to the store and get the ingredients for:

Neiman Marcus Bars

Absolutely, hands-down the best thing I have ever tasted. I am somewhat famous for this dessert, and am asked to make it often by pretty much everyone I know. I made them for a dessert contest at work today, and I'm telling you, if I don't win, the contest is rigged. I saw the other desserts, and they are crap compared to my pan of heaven.

Anyway, here's what you need:

• 1 box Duncan Hines Deluxe yellow cake mix
• 1 stick butter (I use Parkay)
• 3 eggs
• 8 oz block of cream cheese (I use Philly 1/3 less fat)
• 1 box powdered sugar (I think it's 16 oz- but it's the box, not the bag)
• glass pan (this is very important- must be a glass pan)

Combine: 1 egg beaten, 1 stick melted butter, and cake mix. Pat stiff dough in 9X13 pan that has been sprayed w/ Pam.

Combine: cream cheese, 2 eggs, and entire box of powdered sugar. Pour this over dough.

Bake at 350 degrees 30-40 minutes, until top is golden brown. I let them cool and then store them in the fridge.

If you don't make this for your Thanksgiving dinner, you'll be sorry.... you'll be sitting there at the table, thinking, "Hmmm... I wonder what I'm missing since I didn't make Sasha's Neiman Marcus Bars? I totally should have gone for it! This pumpkin pie is really nothing special...."

Seriously, just do it. You can thank me later.

Is Anyone Keeping Count?

... of my transgressions? Because I earned another bead for my Bad Mommy vest this morning.

When I was dropping The Wild Child off, I heard teacher #2 say to teacher #1 "Do you want to mention...."

And then teacher #1 said, "Hey, we've figured out why The Wild Child is taking her shoes off all the time."

Me, in my head: What? She takes her shoes off all the time? I did not know this....

Teacher #1: Yes, her shoes are way to small. Her toes are getting smashed and are very red when she takes her shoes off. They are just way too small.

Me, in my head: OK, OK, I get it. I'm the worst mom ever for not noticing that my kid's shoes are too small. Please don't keep going.

Me, out loud: No problem, I have the next size at home, all ready to go. Her toes must have grown overnight, because Mr. Sasha and I sure didn't notice! Do you need me to go home and get them, or do you think it can wait until tomorrow?

So I ask you, dear blog reader, am I really the worst mom ever? Because I'm seriously starting to think so....

Stellar start to the day, ya'll

Holy hell. What a morning. Just dropped the kids off, fixing to turn into work, do a curb check. (A year later and I'm still not very good at maneuvering the family van.) As I am pulling into my spot, I notice the steering wheel is shaking a little and the Fan is pulling to the right..... Yeah, flat tire.

So I call Mr. Sasha, who I must tell you was totally fab about the whole thing. He came up here, and after I so sweetly reminded him of the "rightsy tightsy, lefty loosey" rule, he put the spare on and off we went to Sam's. And here we are two tires (the other front one needed to be replaced also) and $180 later.

So that's all I got for you right now. Except to tell you that The Wild Child is behaving oh-so-well. Yesterday was a banner day- the assistant director found The Politician's spare blanket that was missing for 6 weeks and I saved a bundle at CVS and even met a bargain board mommy there. Random.

Hope this day turns around. I have to time for crap today!

Fun Lunch Hour

Crap, that was fun. I FINALLY went to the chi-chi boutique to spend my $150 gift card that Mr. Sasha bought me almost 2 years ago. He knew I had always wanted some pricey jeans, but he was crazy enough to get me the gift card when The Wild Child was 6 weeks old. What was he thinking? Only people like movie stars are back to their pre-baby weight in 6 weeks.

So now that she's 22 months old, things are back to normal and I feel like I am at the weight I want to be. So I headed over there... and walked out with some Paige Premium Demin boot-cut jeans. ClemsonGirl, I really need your help! I need to get them hemmed (read: get 15 inches hacked off), and I need to figure out shoes before I can do that. My fashionability is all on your back. Specs: I like somewhat of a heel since I am only 5'2"....... I just don't look right in flats. Smooches for your help!

Note: I did edit this- the original pic I posted was not the correct style, and it made it look like I might think I have the abs of an 18 year old, which I assure you I realize I do not. I am totally not into rocking the muffin top, don't worry.

On another note, have you had Sugar Plums? I got some at lunch because my favorite candy store just got them in stock. Every year around Christmas I go buy a bunch of these yummies and stuff myself silly and turn my tongue nice and purple. Go get some if you have never had them! They'll make your holiday season brighter, I promise!

Just call me

...... Mommio. Or at least, that's what The Politician is calling me these days. I assume he's being all Squirrel Nut Zippery and that's just his version of "Daddio", but who knows.

Also, he was giving me a Spanish lesson yesterday and telling me that he wanted to put on his "pantalonas", which I am 100% sure I didn't spell correctly, but he appeared to be talking about his pants.

And hey, does anyone want (need!) to apply for a Gymboree Visa? I've had mine for a few years, only to get the 5% discount on their clothes, and I also use that card exclusively to gas up, and I use the rewards to buy clothes on the clearance rack. They so kindly sent me a $25 off $50 coupon last month and I used it to buy The Wild Child bee-u-tiful Christmas dress in red plaid.

Anyhow, they are evidently offering a $20 sign up bonus if you sign up and use my referral code: 100 035 040. Here's the app:

http://www.gymboreevisa.com/cgi_w/cfm/credit/gymboree/refer_a_friend.cfm?ics_src=54000

In the spirit of full disclosure, I would also get a $20 bonus... but it's the holidays, and don't you just feel like giving?

My kids say the funniest things

This weekend, any time I have coughed, The Wild Child has looked at me and said "Ah choo!". Believe you me, it's been a million times. I did find out on the bargain board that someone's kid was prescribed phenergan for coughing, so hey, there's another excuse for me to take it and drug myself to sleep tonight.

Also, today The Politician started saying, "If you don't mind, I'd like to....." and "If you don't mind, why don't we...." and on and on. I bet he has said that 10 times today. I'm super glad he's being polite, but WTH?

Crazy kids......