Monday, July 23, 2007

Future lawyer?

The Politician is already a master negotiator, a much-needed trait of all politicians and also lawyers! I was on the debate team in high school (it was actually pretty cool, don't laugh) so he must get his skills from me.

The Scene: Friend's 4th Birthday party a local farm. In the petting zoo area. All is quiet as the kids stand around the employee for instructions.

Farm employee: "OK, I'll need everyone to wash their hands before they touch the animals."

The Politician: "Yeah, I won't be needing to wash my hands-- I won't be touching the animals."

All the parents in the room absolutely died laughing. I will add that he did wash his hands, and did end up touching a big fat bunny.

Monday, July 9, 2007

Can't Live Without

After reading Ashley's Closet this morning, I'm inspired to note my favorite things too. (Note that I have a million other things to do, being the first of the month and all and me being an accountant and all, but this looks much more fun!)

St. Ives Healthy Brilliance Renew & Glow- the best gradual tanner I've found. I absolutely love this stuff. Perfect color for me, low odor, and feels great! I first heard about this on beauty addict when she did her Fake Bake Month. I'd tried several GTs in the past- Jergens made me Oompah-Loompah-ish, and Dove absolutely smelled terrible from the get-go and made my legs streaky. But St. Ives..... love it! I haven't been able to do much sunning since the birth of my two kids, and I absolutely hate having white legs, so this is a nice compromise.

Now, when I am in the sun (when the hell is that?), I just can't use the same SPF 30 that DH uses on himself and the kids. It's good in theory, but even SPF 8 completely blocks all rays for me, and I look like I haven't even stepped outside in 10 years. So I have used Hawiian Tropic Dark Tanning Lotion SPF 4 (third from the left) for absolutely forever. I figure I'm still protecting my skin from a burn, but getting a little color so I look alive. I noticed that Monogram Momma said this is also her potion of choice. I knew I was a little bit cool.

Orville Redenbacher's Smart Pop Kettle Korn Mini Bags These are way too good. Satisfies my sweet tooth, but I don't have to waste too many WW points. (Who am I kidding, I usually stop counting mid-day.....)

My Honda Odyssey. I don't know how in the hell I crammed two kids in Britax seats in the back of an Accord for so long. The Odyssey was the best purchase we have ever made. Now, we don't have the beautiful new model shown above, but at just a few years old, ours is still nice, and the room is beyond words. I did tell Mr. Sasha that he never had to worry about me getting hit on ever again (I don't know that he worried about that anyway....) because it is so obvious that I have kids- but I don't give a damn. My minivan rocks.
Works calls.... but I'll try to add some more later.

Friday, July 6, 2007

I'm a Bad Mommy

So I lost The Wild Child at McDonald's a few Saturdays ago. I'm just now ready to talk about it. I did tell Mr. Sasha a few days later, but I'm not sure he understood the severity of the situation because if he did, he might have taken the kids and left me. Really. This is the guy who spends 45 minutes installing a car seat. A Britax. With LATCH. That should take 5 minutes, people, so that tells you the amount of time/energy he puts in to taking care of his children.

Anyway, our closest Mickey D's was just totally rebuilt, and we've been promising The Politician that we would go play soon. One Saturday Mr. Sasha was golfing, and it was (of course) raining and I had cabin fever, so I loaded up the kiddos and to Mickey D's we went. It was about 11:15, so the playroom wasn't too busy yet. We ate (actually The Wild Child and I ate and The Politician drank some hot mustard) and I let the kids loose to play. The Politician went to town in the big climbing part, and The Wild Child found the small play area on the ground for the wee ones.

A little later, I noticed the playroom getting busy, and realized I'd left all our food/bags etc on the table where we ate and there were lots of people looking for tables. I told a nice-looking young family that I'd clean our table off for them. I had one eye on The Wild Child while I did this- turned my back for ONE SECOND to pick up her backpack, turned around, and SHE WAS GONE. Seriously, GONE.

Let me back up and tell you I have the cutest little girl you've ever seen. She should be modeling (don't all moms think that???). I could so see someone snatching her up because she is absolutely precious- and so friendly. So that's all I could think- she's been STOLEN.

I immediately went towards the door that goes back into the restaurant, realizing that THERE IS NO DOOR THERE, it's just a walkway!!!!!! Kids can escape out of this place! (I'm thinking of calling the manager, but that's another post.)

So I dash into the restaurant, where there are a million people, and don't immediately see her. My heart is beating fast and I'm about to shout "AMBER ALERT!!!!", but for some reason I don't. All of the sudden, I totally see myself on the news, pleading with the general public to return my daughter to me, because she's on medication!!!! She must have it!!! Now, they don't need to know it's just reflux meds, let them think it's life sustaining!

I dash back in the playplace, because, good God, I've left The Politician in there somewhere! Now both my adorable kids are going to be snatched! I find the nice-looking girl I gave my table to, grab her arm, and tell her "You've got to help me find my daughter- in a brown shirt!!!!" I'm frantically dashing around, and she finds her, back in the little kids play area in the corner out of view.

I swear I felt sick for the rest of the day. I obviously have no business managing two kids in public......