The Benefits of Hearing Aids

So MIL is supposed to wear hearing aids, but she doesn't, or else they don't work because the following exchange took place on the phone this AM.

The Politician: Hi DD!

MIL: Hi Politician! Do you know where Papa and I are? (the are on a vacay)

The Politician: Colorado!

MIL: You caught a rabbit! Wow- that's so exciting- tell me all about it!

The Politician: ???????

4 years ago today.....

I was 36 weeks pregnant and delivering my first child. My water had broken the night before, just minutes after crawling in bed and telling Mr. Sasha, "I am SO tired of being pregnant." Seriously, just minutes after I uttered that phrase, I felt a POP and realized my water broke.

Of course, I had not packed a bag. So I sat on the toilet and told Mr. Sasha what to pack, and of course we forgot a million things that he had to make several trips home for over the next few days.

Honestly, I don't remember much of those first few days of The Politician's life. His first APGAR was only a 3 and he had a little trouble with the whole suck/swallow/breathe thing and actually stopped breathing right after he was born. So he spent some time in the NICU.

Luckily, this is a happy-ending story where I tell you that we were able to take him home when I checked out two days later.

The Politician has grown to be such a joy- he's funny, sometimes very serious and says some hilarious stuff (he showed the ped today where his esophagus was), and boy can he work the room. You can just see his wheels turning, although he has not yet learned the art of asking parent #2 the same question out of earshot of parent #1 in an effort to get his preferred response. I know that I'll blink and he'll be in high school......

Future lawyer?

The Politician is already a master negotiator, a much-needed trait of all politicians and also lawyers! I was on the debate team in high school (it was actually pretty cool, don't laugh) so he must get his skills from me.

The Scene: Friend's 4th Birthday party a local farm. In the petting zoo area. All is quiet as the kids stand around the employee for instructions.

Farm employee: "OK, I'll need everyone to wash their hands before they touch the animals."

The Politician: "Yeah, I won't be needing to wash my hands-- I won't be touching the animals."

All the parents in the room absolutely died laughing. I will add that he did wash his hands, and did end up touching a big fat bunny.

I'm a Bad Mommy

So I lost The Wild Child at McDonald's a few Saturdays ago. I'm just now ready to talk about it. I did tell Mr. Sasha a few days later, but I'm not sure he understood the severity of the situation because if he did, he might have taken the kids and left me. Really. This is the guy who spends 45 minutes installing a car seat. A Britax. With LATCH. That should take 5 minutes, people, so that tells you the amount of time/energy he puts in to taking care of his children.

Anyway, our closest Mickey D's was just totally rebuilt, and we've been promising The Politician that we would go play soon. One Saturday Mr. Sasha was golfing, and it was (of course) raining and I had cabin fever, so I loaded up the kiddos and to Mickey D's we went. It was about 11:15, so the playroom wasn't too busy yet. We ate (actually The Wild Child and I ate and The Politician drank some hot mustard) and I let the kids loose to play. The Politician went to town in the big climbing part, and The Wild Child found the small play area on the ground for the wee ones.

A little later, I noticed the playroom getting busy, and realized I'd left all our food/bags etc on the table where we ate and there were lots of people looking for tables. I told a nice-looking young family that I'd clean our table off for them. I had one eye on The Wild Child while I did this- turned my back for ONE SECOND to pick up her backpack, turned around, and SHE WAS GONE. Seriously, GONE.

Let me back up and tell you I have the cutest little girl you've ever seen. She should be modeling (don't all moms think that???). I could so see someone snatching her up because she is absolutely precious- and so friendly. So that's all I could think- she's been STOLEN.

I immediately went towards the door that goes back into the restaurant, realizing that THERE IS NO DOOR THERE, it's just a walkway!!!!!! Kids can escape out of this place! (I'm thinking of calling the manager, but that's another post.)

So I dash into the restaurant, where there are a million people, and don't immediately see her. My heart is beating fast and I'm about to shout "AMBER ALERT!!!!", but for some reason I don't. All of the sudden, I totally see myself on the news, pleading with the general public to return my daughter to me, because she's on medication!!!! She must have it!!! Now, they don't need to know it's just reflux meds, let them think it's life sustaining!

I dash back in the playplace, because, good God, I've left The Politician in there somewhere! Now both my adorable kids are going to be snatched! I find the nice-looking girl I gave my table to, grab her arm, and tell her "You've got to help me find my daughter- in a brown shirt!!!!" I'm frantically dashing around, and she finds her, back in the little kids play area in the corner out of view.

I swear I felt sick for the rest of the day. I obviously have no business managing two kids in public......