Proof

The hat didn't make it outside of the house, but at least the jacket and spats stayed on. The binoculars were a last minutes addition that came in the mail today and The Politician wanted to wear them- hey a fireman might need to see something in the distance, right?

The Wild Child loved her costume and totally figured out the whole ToT thing- "Treat Treat" was what she said at each house and she sometimes continued to stand there like "Hey, if I stand here long enough, will you give me more?"

No gold bars or coins, but we did get some good loot. Now I'm off to pull my faves out of their buckets- they are asleep and will never miss 'em!

Score 1 for Momma

So The Politician did indeed wear his costume at school today. And The Wild Child loved her kitty costume. Pictures to come later hopefully. Mr. Sasha tried this morning, but they are all blurry (hello, automatic focus?) so I'll try tonight with the good camera.

We are set to ToT in the ritzies and hopefully get some bars of gold. Or at least some high dollar candy..... My friend Slim from HS is coming over and our neighbors too. We'll be quite the large pack.

I'm still feeling shitty from my mysterious 8 day stomach virus and am now resorting to downing Emetrol like water. I'm hoarding my Phenergan because I only have 4 halfs left and don't know what I am going to do when they are gone. Do drug dealers sell Phenergan?????

Cross Your Fingers

because The Politician says he will wear his costume today at school. He told me Monday that his costume was "only for Halloween day, and not for any other parties" which may explain why he voted no on Sunday. So we shall see. He did say that his friend D was going to be a "fire dog" (dalmation?) and they would walk together during the parade. I will let you know after Mr. Sasha lets me know, because I am stuck in a budget meeting this AM.

Poor Mr. Sasha, he had a load of stuff to drag to the school today.

• Costume for The Politician (fire chief)
• Costume for The Wild Child (kitty cat)
• Cheese and crackers for WC's party
• Lime sherbert for P's party (for punch? who knows) ($20 bucks that one is still sitting in the freezer at home.....)
• Motrin and Sudafed for WC
• Camera to take pics during the parade

I hate it when it's his day to take to school and there's lots of stuff to take. He's even more forgetful than me, if that is at all possible. I bet this morning involved turning around and going back home for something.......

Go Ahead and Give Me That Award Right Now

I shut The Politician's fingers in the car door last night. I started to shut the driver door because I was going to turn around and get him in his car seat behind me, and he decided to climb up at just the wrong time and put his hand there to help himself up.

I saw it happening, almost in slow motion, and there wasn't anything I could do about it. Damn.

He cried of course, so much that Mr. Sasha heard from inside the house and came to see what was wrong. I was pretty sure that there was going to be blood or missing digits or something, but someone was watching over us and neither was the case.

After the promise of some ice cream, he calmed down and we went on to Sam's as planned to get some Cetaphil lotion, because I tried to get some at Target yesterday and they wanted to rape and pillage me and take my first born child- amazing how much they wanted for it.

So it was a little swollen, but he could make a fist and would even use his other hand and press on his fist to make it tighter. After I posted a query on the bargain board as to whether or not to head to the ER, we decided to give him some Motrin and wait it out.

This morning he seems fine, but is being a little careful with that hand. I told his teacher that his fingers got shut in the car door last night, and The Politician chimed in helpfully "Yes, Momma did it." Thanks for that P.

So I don't even think we need to question it or kid about it anymore, I am the worst mommy ever. I'll take that trophy and hide it in the closet, thank you very much.

A Problem Re-surfaces

I'm a little worried about The Wild Child and what her future profession might be. See, last winter we had a little problem with her. She managed to undress herself (at least partially) pretty much every night. And since we have shitty duct work and her room is just as far from our heating unit as it possible could be, it gets a little cold in her room at night. It got so funny, I started taking pictures of how I found her in the AM. You'll note the Robeez that she has on in all these pics- we discovered that she was unable to take off her pants if she had Robeez on, and as a bonus, they also kept her socks on.

Here she is with one arm through the neck hole.

And one arm out the bottom. (makes much more sense)

And of course, with the shirt completely off.

These pics were taken between Jan and April of this year. After that, she just stopped one day.

But she's started up again, and has taken her pants off the last three nights.

So is she gonna be a stripper???????

At least I tried

Well, last night at the church Halloween carnival, The Politician went costume-less. Sigh. I thought I had the perfect plan this year and was sure he would wear a costume- he even acted excited about the fire chief jacket that I had gotten for him.

But as we were getting out of the Fan (family van) last night I said, "OK, Politician, let's get your costume on!"

Politician: Nah, I don't think so.

Sasha: Are you sure? Everyone will have theirs on.

Politician: No, I don't want to wear it right now.

So we went in and I thought, surely he'll change his mind once he sees everyone in costume.

Nope. I asked him again, and he said "No, Momma, I told you, I don't want to wear a costume."

So there we were, the Sasha family, the only kids in the whole place without a costume. (I had opted not to even try to put a costume on The Wild Child because she is cutting her 2 year molars and was pretty much in a pissy mood.)

Also, chalk another qualificiation up for my Mom of the Year Award, because I forgot to bring a treat or trick bucket for him to carry around. So I ran out to the car and found a random plastic sack for him to use. The upside of all this is that my kids are going to grow up with very low expectations for life since I never have my act together and am never organized.

Just another crazy Saturday

Yesterday was a crazy day. I already told you about the race in the AM. The Wild Child had her very first (other than relatives) birthday party to go to from 1:30-3:30, and the The Politician had one from 5:00-7:00. Mr. Sasha and I tag-teamed it, partly because I had a charity event to go to last night that I needed to get all gussied up for. More on that later.....

I was frantically trying to get ready for the event and noticed that The Wild Child had been pretty quite for a bit. I went in search of her and was greeted with........

The little toot looked at me and said "Uh Oh!"

So I just shut the door and when Mr. Sasha and I passed in the garage as he was coming home from the bday party and I was leaving for my event, I said "There's a surprise for you in our bathroom!"

My charity event was for an organization that I volunteer for (actually, I'm their unpaid bookkeeper....). It was a Dancing With the Stars-type event, and it was pretty fun. Although, I am still disappointed that the bar did not have sour mix, so no Whisky Sours for me. Above is a pic of me all dressed up, which happens about twice a year, if that.

Oh, and here's a pic of my face- I am so pumped about how good my skin looks and will definitely be going back for more! And Nip/Tuck starts back this week! Totally unrelated, but talking about my skin made me think of that. Can't wait to see what Christian Troy is up to.

30 seconds rocks

So I shaved 30 seconds or so off my 5K time and broke the 30 minute mark!!!!!! I had planned on running in this race this AM for quite a while, and was really excited to try to finish under 30 minutes and make a new personal best. However, I've had a bit of the cha cha cha since Tuesday and was unsure if running this AM would be a good decision. I've been through an entire pack of Imodium this week, and and super pissed off at whoever decided to put them in those Alcatraz-style blister packs that you have to cut open. At 3 AM in a hotel, I gotta tell you, scissors aren't handy. TG for fingernail clippers....

But I digress. So about 8:05 I decided to give it a whirl (after taking another dose of Imodium), picturing myself knocking on someone's door begging for a bathroom) and toss on some clothes and get in the car and drive like a bat because, good Lord, the race starts at 8:30. I barely made it to the race starting point with 2 minutes to spare. They had even moved the chip table. So I got my chip, tied it on, and pretty much started running. It was about 43 degrees, and Mr. Sasha convinced me that I needed to wear pants (my new Champion petite pants from Target!) and a jacket. After about a mile, I was mad at him because my legs were sweating, and I hate sweating.

So I shed my jacket, and had a super run, even though I had sweaty legs. My chip time was 29:30!!!!! Go me! And they had cinnamon crunch bagels at the finish line- score.

And I've felt much better today, so maybe a little exercise was all I needed to work that bothersome bug out of my system. Sorry if this post was TMI!

Home from the casino a little poorer

But not because of the casino.... Actually, I won $40 cash in a door prize drawing at the conference, and I turned that into $63.10 on a penny "Shake Your Booty" machine. Yeah, yeah, it's only $23, but hey, the machine was fun. Except for that smarmy old man that I had to ask to step away because he was standing behind me peering over my shoulder blowing smoke in my face. Listen buddy, if Mr. Sasha does not allow me to smoke, then I just can't have smoke 2 inches from my face because it reminds me how much I miss it. Step away.

And technically, I'm up some other money because I'll get a nice check for about $250 for mileage and per diem. So...... when Mr. Sasha suggested we go shopping last night......

Guess where we went?????

Oh yes, my most favorite store ever. I wanted to check out a North/South bag that a salesperson told me about in Boston. I have specific purse requirements. I really like the lunch tote style bags, and I have a really small frame and non-existent shoulders, so most bags fall off my shoulders and that pisses me off. I need something that I had put on my shoulder and kind of hold on my back with my arm- it's hard to explain, maybe I'll take a pic for ya.

So I wanted to check out that bag. Turns out it would not work for me. But the lovely sales girl listened to what I was looking for and steered me towards.....

The Carly. Isn't she pretty? Mr. Sasha was none too pleased, but I totally threw it back in his face that shopping was all his idea. I would have been totally cool with staying at the hotel and watching The Office. (What did I miss BTW? I haven't gotten to see it yet.)

We also went to Pottery Barn Kids and got The Wild Child a precious pink and white gingham dress with a white peter pan collar for next Easter- half price. And a princess dress-up skirt for under the tree. She's all into "pretty" right now. Also found two casual shirts at Ann Taylor Loft- I love their petite department and can finally not look like I am wearing my big sis's clothes. So I had so much fun shopping!

At my favorite local store, Target, I found a kit to dress up your pumpkin. Have I told you that I am not at all artsy or creative, and carving a pumpkin would be a complete disaster that I'd abandon after about 15 minutes? Well, this kit was perfect for ADD me! And The Politician loved it and had a ball dressing up his pumpkin. And they are totally reusable, so expect to see this year after year. Cause I'm just that lazy.

So it's nice to be home. The kids were super sweet and lovey and missed us terribly, although my parents did a fab job taking care of them. Can't ask for much more than that.

Damn exclusive contracts

The indians have an exclusive contract with none other than Pepsi, which totally pisses me off because my coffee every morning is a nice cold can of Coke, which is nowhere to be found. And since Mr. Sasha drank a six pack while playing golf yesterday, he couldn't drag his ass out of bed in time to go somewhere to get me one while I got ready.

So Pepsi it was, but I must say it's just not the same. I'd love to have a Coke and a smile.....

Just dropping in to say...

This sure ain't Vegas baby.

See ya in a few

Mr. Sasha and I are off to an indian casino for a few days for a conference for my work. It will be super boring and I am sure I will fall asleep more than a few times. But hopefully lady luck will be good to me at the blackjack tables and I can win enough to get a new Coach while we are there. I'd love some Coach shoes.....

Wish me well!

Blogger ate my post

Last night I wrote the greatest post- seriously I was giggling it as I was typing because it was damn funny! Then I pressed "publish" and it was gone. Chewed up and eaten. Damn.

So I'll try again, but there are no guarantees that it will be as funny.

Last night Mr. Sasha was convinced that the kids needed to go to bed earlier than usual because we all needed to leave the house at 7 (!) to get to my work to get flu shots before the kids go to school. I was laughing inside at him because it totally backfired with The Wild Child and she fought it so hard that she was still awake 30 minutes after her regular bedtime. Mr. Sasha needs him some Lexapro I tell you.

The Politician and I had the following conversation while Mr. Sasha was trying to get The Wild Child to stop throwing her bunny out of her bed.

P: Momma, I am so hungry.

Sasha: Politician, there is no way you are hungry because you ate an entire Taco Puff, and drank a bunch of milk, and hey, you probably even had a million packs of smarties while daddy was playing bathroom barber and giving you a fresh buzz.

P: But Momma, I am sooooooo hungry.

Sasha: See, we are done eating tonight. No more food. It's almost bedtime.

P: That's what the weatherman said.

Sasha: What????

P: I don't know.

So is my son becoming the Michael Scott of our house, and was this his version of That's What She Said? Holy cow, maybe he has a career in comedy! But I don't really get it.....

Ebates Double Bonus Offer

I can't imagine that there is anyone left who doesn't know about ebates, but if you aren't signed up yet, let me be your referrer because it's double bonus time again. Through November 15th, both you and I will get $10 after you make your first purchase.

Click on this link to sign up!

www.ebates.com/doublebonusoffer/index.htm?id=26179778

Happy Shopping! By the way, I've gotten checks totaling over $110 back just buying things I would normally buy!

Breaking Thru

So The Politician is making some changes. He was quite funny being as eccentric as he was, but damn, it was too complicated to keep up with all his little quirks. So I am glad to see some of them go.

1. He is going to wear a costume this year!!!! Score one for mom, because I found a fireman jacket that can be worn over street clothes (did we already talk about this?) so it's kinda a combo between not wearing a costume and wearing one. It has spats that you wear over your regular shoes too so he has assured me that he is cool with that too. Which is great because I've spent a small fortune on costumes over the past few years that have gone unworn because they have a flaw (scratchy tag, etc) that is beyond his ability to deal. Last year he worn a parrot visor to treat or treat at the businesses on campus and there were a few stores who looked like they didn't want to give him any candy because he looked costume-less (yes, he had a regular t and shorts on with the visor). Yeah, I know shopkeepers, I tried.

2. Last night I drug a million things out of his closet and asked him if I could try them on him because I need to weed out out-grown stuff because he is finally growing a little. At 4, he is 32 pounds and absolutely bony. Anyway, he told me that he would possibly agree to wear some track pants this year! ("Yeah, I think I could do that Momma.") Another score for mom, because in years past he has only worn jeans or khaki pants. Crazy kid- track pants rock and you've totally been missing out.

3. He has branched out and is finally eating something other than carbs, peanut butter, and chicken nuggets. I have convinced him to eat tostadas ("It's a big chip with beans and sauce!") and Mr. Sasha found that he will eat a Taco Burger. Surely you are familiar with Taco Burgers, but maybe they are regional? It's a hamburger bun with taco meat and cheese, minus shred for the Sasha family. I was pretty sure he was going to grow feathers because he ate so much chicken, but now we have two more dinner possibilities. Oh, and he ate a hamburger the other night! Now if I could just get him to eat fruit. There was an episode last year where I found myself holding him down on the ground trying to stuff a plum in his mouth, and I just decided that wasn't right.

The Wild Child is opposite, she's pretty much a fruititarian. She'll eat any fruit (and chicken nuggets), but will not eat any beef or veggies of any kind. Everyone is talking about this Deceptively Delicious book, but damn, I don't have time to make those purees. Seriously, where in the hell would I fit that in my schedule? Plus the smell of cauliflower makes me throw up.

So Saturday night I went back to my hometown for a wedding of a family friend, and since I have car-colepsy and have a tendency to fall asleep in the car whether I am a passenger or driving, I just stayed the night with my parents so I didn't have to drive after dark. Kinda nice, although that bed sucks and their new house makes all kind of crazy noises at night. They do have a pet skunk (no, not really a pet) that comes on the back porch at night and eats the crickets, so that's kinda cool. Also, mom made me Pepperidge Farm Apple Turnovers with powdered sugar on Sunday morning, so it was like old times, only I wasn't hung over, so it was even better.

Technical help, please

OK, so I am a little technically challenged sometimes. I have an Ipod, and know how to do two things: upload songs from CDs in my possession, and buy songs from itunes.com.

Now how else can I put songs on there? Specifically, if there is a song I like but can't find on itunes, can I get it another way?

I am loving Katy Perry's Waking Up in Vegas and it would be awesome to run to.

Ashley, do you think Big Kid can give me some help?

Tales From Running

So it's absolutely beautiful in the mornings here right now, nice and cool with a breeze. Like about 50 or so. And I am so hot-natured, I love 50. So this morning I took off for a jog about 9:30 with my ipod on and it felt great.
It felt even better after I found a Coach charm like the one above, just not an "S". See, I live just at the edge of an older edition (about 30 years old), and our road connects to a brand new edition with homes that start around $500K- they are beautiful. So I run there because it's nice to look at them and think "God, how in the hell would I keep that clean, and how would I ever find my kids????" Anyway, I was jogging along when I found a Coach charm in the street! Obviously, someone was climbing into their Lexus or Jag or some such, and it fell off their purse. Now, I've mentioned before that I do carry Coach exclusively, because I think it's a really quality brand and I've carried them since my mom bought me my first one to carry to church when I was about 12. Except for that Dooney episode, which I will tell you about some other time.

There were no cars around at all, so I figured finders, keepers. Like I am going to go knock on doors on that street and ask. So I was all excited and spent my run trying to think of which friend to give it to since it wasn't an "S". I thought of some friends from college, some friends from work, even a friend from BBC. Then I started thinking of last names that began with that letter and adding even more friends to my possible list. It wasn't until I got into my own driveway that I realized... my own last name starts with the letter I found! So it's clipped to my cream bag and just looks adorable!

Big funny today: I was jogging along, listening to some Wakeland from back in the day, and I felt a car slowing down close to me. I thought "Great, some perve who wants to stare at me and this is totally not a neighborhood that this should be happening in." I glanced over and realized that it was Mr. Sasha, who had piled the kiddos in the Fan (family van) and was holding a red paper Coke cup out the window, yelling "Water stop! Water stop! Do you need some water?" just like in a race. Smart ass. But it did taste damn good.

One more thing, and I'll leave you alone. Don't think I am totally stupid, but I downloaded a song that was really fun to run to. Paris Hilton's Stars Are Blind. Yes, I know it's a talentless heiress who recorded it, and yes, I know it's from last summer and wasn't even cool then. But it is catchy and I love it! (to run to)

The Politician Has the Solution

Sasha: Politician, I don't want to see you putting those fake teeth in your mouth while you are eating.

The Politician: Momma, just close your eyes then.

I have a feeling it's going to be an eventful weekend. Stay tuned for more hilarity.

Thank you Little Debbie!

Oh Little Debbie, you made my day!!!!

First, let me tell you that I am always one of the first people to try new products. On Sundays, I scour the coupon inserts and the Target, CVS and Walgreens circulars in search of new products that I simply must try. I'm a busy mom, you know, and I'm all about time-saving and making things easier for me!

I have been big into the 100 calorie snack packs since they came out. Yes, I know that they are not bargain-friendly, but listen, I am not good at portion control and if I open a big bag of something, it's gone before I realize it. So the little bags really help me keep it in check.

So I was so excited to find these 100 Calorie Nutty Bars! I love me some Nutty Bars (second only to Marshmallow Supremes) but they are normally come two to a package, and I can't just eat one. So this new product is perfect for me. I will tell you that I brought them to the office in an effort to hide them from the fam. I mean, they are mine, no one elses. So there.

And one more product I love, Target's liquid medicine dispensing system- they have a little insert that they put in the top of the medicine bottle and you simply insert the dosing syringe, flip the bottle upside down, pull out the amount you need, flip the bottle back up, remove the syringe, and you are ready to go. Target pharmacists rock- I discovered that if you ask, they will even give you the inserts to put in your OTC meds. Yesterday I was at Target at lunch and The Wild Child's school called and asked if I could bring up some Motrin because she was being a carnivore and biting her friends, which we are pretty sure is due to cutting her 2 year molars. It was very convenient that I just happend to be at Target, because I picked up a bottle of generic motrin and headed to the pharmacy counter to ask sweetly for an insert and a syringe. That's pretty much the only place I will fill liquid meds now- even though I have to drag myself to the middle of the store to get the scripts, and I've really loved being able to do the whole CVS-drive-thru thing....

My son the President

I swear my kid is going to be President some day. Last night he was horsing around in the bathtub and I was getting frustrated with him for not listening to me and I said "Politician, do you want me to start counting? PLEASE listen to me."

He said, "Momma, did you know that I love you sooooo much?"

Mr. Sasha and I died laughing. Mr. Sasha reminded me this same situation happened on the way to church on Sunday. We were in a hurry (when are we not?) and I was getting on to The Politician for climbing in the back of the van instead of getting into his carseat. He said "Momma, did you know you look beautiful today?"

What am I going to do with him?