Stopping by the office for a bit

I've been in a mind-numbingly boring CPE session today- if that damn CPA wasn't so hard to get in the first place, I'd totally say screw the CPE, but I don't EVER want to have to study like that again. So I'm stopping by the office for a minute on my way to get the kiddos, and of course I have to blog for a bit before I check the alarmingly tall in-box on the corner of my desk.

First, Mr. Sasha texted me this morning and said that The Wild Child really only bit twice yesterday- the other two times her "shadow" teacher stopped her before it actually happened- fab news! They were supposed to call us today if she bit again, and with no phone call as of 3:49, maybe we are in the clear (knock, knock). I gave her a dose of Motrin this AM for good measure just to ward off any cranky-ness.

20 bucks you are wondering what's up with the above pic- well, it's a darn good thing I am numbed by Lexapro, because old-Sasha would have simply freaked out when she saw that SCORCH MARK ON HER POTTERY BARN BEDSPREAD. New Sasha just said, "Huh, what the hell? And how can I fix that?"

All I can figure is that on Wednesday morning when I was frantically cleaning before the cleaning lady came (yeah, yeah, I know) my curling iron must have still been hot when I set it out of the way and on my bed. That's all I can come up with...

Two super nice ladies on the bargain board suggested that since it is patchwork to begin with, I can just have a new patch sewn on that section, and as luck would have it, I do have an extra sham I am not using, so that will work perfectly. Except I don't sew....

Anyway, I was super-proud of my reaction and how I didn't lose it. I love modern medicine!

Tonight Mr. Sasha and I are taking advantage of Parents Night Out at our church and going out to dinner and using my gift card to Salt Grass that I won in the dessert contest with my rockin' creation. And tomorrow is the Turkey Trot and hopefully I can beat 30 minutes again, although I'm not counting on it since I haven't been able to run in almost 3 weeks because of the mysterious stomach issues and the subsequent cold that I caught. Then a bday party for The Politician to attend, Girl's Night Out with some sorority sisters.... A fun weekend ahead, and surely there will be some blog material in there somewhere....

News

Well, I got third place, which I was pretty excited about until......

We went to the TG dinner at the school the kids go to, and the assistant director stopped me and said The Wild Child has bitten FOUR times this morning! Three DIFFERENT kids.... I am just sick at my stomach. I don't know what to do. I think they are going to suspend her, and I think that's probably the right thing for them to do. I just don't know how we are going to swing it.....

She said she would see how she does this afternoon and tomorrow and then decide......

I just went from top of the world to bottom of the heap in 10 seconds flat.

Two Step Round The Christmas Tree

It's my own damn fault, but The Politician is all into the Christmas spirit and we'll be listening to the above album for the next six weeks. This album was purchased by a very drunk me after a Suzy show in 2000 in Annapolis in a little bar I can't remember the name of and re-found last Christmas and played a million times because P loves "Two Step Round the Christmas Tree".

I'm not a huge country fan, although I live in an area of the country that means that type of music is pretty unavoidable, and truth be told, I'm OK with that. Actually, I'm a mean line dancer, if you can picture that. I'm stellar at the Tush Push, although it's been a few years. And, to tell you even more, I actually wore Rockies and Ropers quite a bit since we frequented C&W bars in college.

It's really quite a good album, and we've got the cutest little family tradition where we pump our fist in the air on the "Cotton-eyed Joe" part of the two-step song. Go here to listen to a snippet and I think you'll like it too.

In the spirit of ClemsonGirl, here's some lyrics for ya: (Can someone tell me how to do single spacing?????)

Cause a Western girl, can't be still

And a silent night is not for me

Roll back the rug so we can

Two step 'round the Christmas tree

Get In Your Car Right Now

and go to the store and get the ingredients for:

Neiman Marcus Bars

Absolutely, hands-down the best thing I have ever tasted. I am somewhat famous for this dessert, and am asked to make it often by pretty much everyone I know. I made them for a dessert contest at work today, and I'm telling you, if I don't win, the contest is rigged. I saw the other desserts, and they are crap compared to my pan of heaven.

Anyway, here's what you need:

• 1 box Duncan Hines Deluxe yellow cake mix
• 1 stick butter (I use Parkay)
• 3 eggs
• 8 oz block of cream cheese (I use Philly 1/3 less fat)
• 1 box powdered sugar (I think it's 16 oz- but it's the box, not the bag)
• glass pan (this is very important- must be a glass pan)

Combine: 1 egg beaten, 1 stick melted butter, and cake mix. Pat stiff dough in 9X13 pan that has been sprayed w/ Pam.

Combine: cream cheese, 2 eggs, and entire box of powdered sugar. Pour this over dough.

Bake at 350 degrees 30-40 minutes, until top is golden brown. I let them cool and then store them in the fridge.

If you don't make this for your Thanksgiving dinner, you'll be sorry.... you'll be sitting there at the table, thinking, "Hmmm... I wonder what I'm missing since I didn't make Sasha's Neiman Marcus Bars? I totally should have gone for it! This pumpkin pie is really nothing special...."

Seriously, just do it. You can thank me later.

Is Anyone Keeping Count?

... of my transgressions? Because I earned another bead for my Bad Mommy vest this morning.

When I was dropping The Wild Child off, I heard teacher #2 say to teacher #1 "Do you want to mention...."

And then teacher #1 said, "Hey, we've figured out why The Wild Child is taking her shoes off all the time."

Me, in my head: What? She takes her shoes off all the time? I did not know this....

Teacher #1: Yes, her shoes are way to small. Her toes are getting smashed and are very red when she takes her shoes off. They are just way too small.

Me, in my head: OK, OK, I get it. I'm the worst mom ever for not noticing that my kid's shoes are too small. Please don't keep going.

Me, out loud: No problem, I have the next size at home, all ready to go. Her toes must have grown overnight, because Mr. Sasha and I sure didn't notice! Do you need me to go home and get them, or do you think it can wait until tomorrow?

So I ask you, dear blog reader, am I really the worst mom ever? Because I'm seriously starting to think so....

Stellar start to the day, ya'll

Holy hell. What a morning. Just dropped the kids off, fixing to turn into work, do a curb check. (A year later and I'm still not very good at maneuvering the family van.) As I am pulling into my spot, I notice the steering wheel is shaking a little and the Fan is pulling to the right..... Yeah, flat tire.

So I call Mr. Sasha, who I must tell you was totally fab about the whole thing. He came up here, and after I so sweetly reminded him of the "rightsy tightsy, lefty loosey" rule, he put the spare on and off we went to Sam's. And here we are two tires (the other front one needed to be replaced also) and $180 later.

So that's all I got for you right now. Except to tell you that The Wild Child is behaving oh-so-well. Yesterday was a banner day- the assistant director found The Politician's spare blanket that was missing for 6 weeks and I saved a bundle at CVS and even met a bargain board mommy there. Random.

Hope this day turns around. I have to time for crap today!

Fun Lunch Hour

Crap, that was fun. I FINALLY went to the chi-chi boutique to spend my $150 gift card that Mr. Sasha bought me almost 2 years ago. He knew I had always wanted some pricey jeans, but he was crazy enough to get me the gift card when The Wild Child was 6 weeks old. What was he thinking? Only people like movie stars are back to their pre-baby weight in 6 weeks.

So now that she's 22 months old, things are back to normal and I feel like I am at the weight I want to be. So I headed over there... and walked out with some Paige Premium Demin boot-cut jeans. ClemsonGirl, I really need your help! I need to get them hemmed (read: get 15 inches hacked off), and I need to figure out shoes before I can do that. My fashionability is all on your back. Specs: I like somewhat of a heel since I am only 5'2"....... I just don't look right in flats. Smooches for your help!

Note: I did edit this- the original pic I posted was not the correct style, and it made it look like I might think I have the abs of an 18 year old, which I assure you I realize I do not. I am totally not into rocking the muffin top, don't worry.

On another note, have you had Sugar Plums? I got some at lunch because my favorite candy store just got them in stock. Every year around Christmas I go buy a bunch of these yummies and stuff myself silly and turn my tongue nice and purple. Go get some if you have never had them! They'll make your holiday season brighter, I promise!

Just call me

...... Mommio. Or at least, that's what The Politician is calling me these days. I assume he's being all Squirrel Nut Zippery and that's just his version of "Daddio", but who knows.

Also, he was giving me a Spanish lesson yesterday and telling me that he wanted to put on his "pantalonas", which I am 100% sure I didn't spell correctly, but he appeared to be talking about his pants.

And hey, does anyone want (need!) to apply for a Gymboree Visa? I've had mine for a few years, only to get the 5% discount on their clothes, and I also use that card exclusively to gas up, and I use the rewards to buy clothes on the clearance rack. They so kindly sent me a $25 off $50 coupon last month and I used it to buy The Wild Child bee-u-tiful Christmas dress in red plaid.

Anyhow, they are evidently offering a $20 sign up bonus if you sign up and use my referral code: 100 035 040. Here's the app:

http://www.gymboreevisa.com/cgi_w/cfm/credit/gymboree/refer_a_friend.cfm?ics_src=54000

In the spirit of full disclosure, I would also get a $20 bonus... but it's the holidays, and don't you just feel like giving?

My kids say the funniest things

This weekend, any time I have coughed, The Wild Child has looked at me and said "Ah choo!". Believe you me, it's been a million times. I did find out on the bargain board that someone's kid was prescribed phenergan for coughing, so hey, there's another excuse for me to take it and drug myself to sleep tonight.

Also, today The Politician started saying, "If you don't mind, I'd like to....." and "If you don't mind, why don't we...." and on and on. I bet he has said that 10 times today. I'm super glad he's being polite, but WTH?

Crazy kids......

Ebates Double Bonus Offer

It's Christmas shopping time, and if you haven't signed up yet for Ebates, now is the time.

It's Double Bonus time, which means you and I BOTH get $10 if you sign up through this link and make a purchase through ebates. I have gotten over $120 back since I signed up.

www.ebates.com/doublebonusoffer/index.htm?id=26179778

Let me know if you have questions! It's super easy and you still buy from all the stores we love, like Gap, Old Navy, Sephora, etc.

Woo Hoo!!!!

Another no-bite day for The Wild Child!!!! Fantastic.

Note from The Politician's teacher: "The Politician had a difficult time listening to his teachers today and was very hyper."

Yeah, yeah, you just got a taste of my every day. I'm always wondering why he is so good for the teachers (aside from the mashed potato incident) and so disobedient for me. Good to hear he's spreading it around. You go ahead and work on that, cause I'm not having much luck at home.

Last night before PTO I ran by TRU and picked the extras (nursery, washing machine, sink) for the Rose Petal Cottage for WC for Christmas. I'm going back today because they were out of the free baking set when you buy the cottage itself, and since I'm all about the free, I didn't buy the cottage yet to see if they get more baking sets today. It looks precious, but Mr. Sasha is going to be all kinds of pissed off at me because you gotta put the shit together. Who am I kidding- I'll end up doing it, just like I did The Politician's train table when I was 1 week away from delivering WC. He may be pretty to look at and a great football player and salesman, but he sucks at putting stuff together.

Good news!

So The Wild Child had a fab day yesterday and did not try to eat any of her friends. Yay!!!! Maybe we are getting through to her.... We'll see how today goes, but I am hopeful that she will be a good girl.

Political Funny: This AM I was drying my hair in the bathroom and I heard Mr. Sasha talking to The Politician, who had just woken up, in our bedroom. I also saw the lights go out in our bedroom, which usually happens when P walks into the room, because he doesn't like bright lights in the AM.

Mr. Sasha: Politician, go ahead and go to the bathroom and Momma will help you wash your hands and brush your teeth.

P: No, Daddy, my eyes aren't ready to go in there yet!

As for me, I just got back from a super-exciting (really!) meeting about a music festival that I am helping organize here in our town. I am so pumped because I so miss the music scene. Since we became parents, our nights out have disappeared, and that just sucks because you used to be guaranteed to find me on wherever there was live music and beer on Saturday nights. But those days are long-gone...... Anyway, the festival I have been dreaming up for the past few years is actually going to happen. Only this is we have too many chiefs--- we had to make some executive decisions this morning and just get it done.

And tonight I have a PTO meeting and then dinner out with two moms I have gotten to know through the school- fun! I miss my social life, and it's been nice to meet some new people and make some new friends. And drink a little beer.

Politicial Funnies

Note from school yesterday:

"The Politician had a happy day, but was sent to the office for putting mashed potatoes in his hair and his friend's hair at lunch."

Also, I was telling Mr. Sasha all about my Christmas card picture plans, which involved the cutest PJs from Baby Gap that I got for a great price with yesterday's special discount and free shipping, ebates, and using a $10 reward certificate (rose for WC and green for P). I so badly want to do the "Sorry Santa, we tried to be good!" pic with them eating Santa's cookies in their Christmas PJs looking sheepish.

The Politician was horrified, and said, "No, Momma, that would hurt Santa's feelings! I don't want to do that picture!"

And all the explaining (It's just a joke! Santa will think you are hilarious!) couldn't convince him, so it looks like we'll be back to the 'ole two kids sitting on the fireplace picture. Me and my grand ideas.....

I'm Healed!!!!!

I finally feel back to normal!!! Yay! The doctor who prescribed the Lexapro called back me yesterday to see how I was feeling. He agreed with the nurse smoking crack who didn't think it was the Lexapro making me sick. He thinks it may have been food poisoning. And since I have no idea what I ate two Mondays ago (fried cheese? Taco Bell? Lean Cuisine pizza?) I guess we'll never know.

Just to tell you how good I feel, this is what I've eaten this morning:

• can of Coke
• Halloween pack of Skittles
• Halloween pack of Nerds
• 100 Calorie Nutty Bar
• Yeast Roll

So, yeah, back to normal. But that was a long damn 2 weeks. And I didn't lose a pound. WTF?

WC update: Yes, she bit again yesterday. I emailed the parent of the child I thought it was (since she was telling on herself and saying his name when I would say something about biting). The mom was very kind and said she understood that some kids just do this and thanked me for emailing her. When I picked up the kids after work yesterday, she stopped me in the parking lot and invited us over for dinner! So that felt good that they totally don't hate the Sasha family and aren't campaigning for that 1 week suspension that I am holding my breath waiting for.

Stripping yet again

So last night Mr. Sasha went to check on WC before we went to sleep, and it's a good thing he did, because the little turkey was nekkid from the waist down, sleeping soundly with her butt up in the air.
She had taken off:

• Robeez
• socks
• PJ bottoms
• diaper

Someone told me that they used to put their child's diaper on backwards with the tabs in the back so they would have a harder time getting it off. We'll try that tonight and see what happens.

And I'm guessing it's about time to start potty-training since Saturday night I couldn't keep a diaper on her just running around the house.

I'm totally not ready for potty training- I don't mind diapers at all because there's no mess factor. The Politician reluctantly potty trained at age 3 and that was fine with me, because it only took a week since he was older and understood what was up.

Of course, I just bought 4 giant boxes of diapers at Target when I found a good deal. I should have known better......

What A Day

So I've been chasing WC around tonight reciting passages from the above literary classic.
When I got there to pick her up today, turns out she had just bitten her friend A about 10 minutes before because he was on the rocking horse she wanted to get on. Holy crap! We just can't catch a break. The assistant director was awesome and told me how nice it was that Mr. Sasha and I are very concerned about the situation and want to be proactive. She assured me that they know this is a stage that will pass. She also offered the above book for me to take home for a few days.
And...... I totally think she's getting it! As soon as she sees the book, she says "No no bite!" So cross those fingers, toes, and whatever else you got and let's see how tomorrow goes.
Health update: Turns out my brilliant brain flash was not so brilliant. The nurse at the hospital hotline I called didn't seem to think that was the cause- she said I've been on the meds for too long to just now have this reaction. Then she got all crazy and said I needed to go to the dr tomorrow and TAKE A SAMPLE IN A ZIPLOCK. Plus I needed to keep it in the fridge before I go, you know, to preserve it. Lady was smokin crack right there at the hospital- that just ain't happening.
And I'm also definitely not pregnant. To cover all my bases, I stopped at the pharm and picked up a test, that in about 2 seconds registered negative. Cool. Cause the alternative would not be cool, although it would be blog fodder, it might be the death of me. And Mr. Sasha. So phew.

Oh no....

I just had a brain flash and I'm afraid my beloved Lexapro may be the culprit of my stomach issues!!!!!!! I did a quick side effect search on web md and found the cha cha cha and "feeling like you are going to throw up" listed on there.

Anyone have any experiences with this? I have emailed three friends who might know, and put in a call to the nurse of the dr who prescribed it, but alas, no one is available to help me!

I'd hate to have to stop taking it, but my lord, I just can't feel like this anymore.......

Cross Your Fingers

.... that my little carnivore does not bite anyone today at school, because she may be bound for a one-week suspension if she does.......

Thanks to the ladies on the bargain board, I understand the situation a little better and understand that it just may be necessary to keep her out of the classroom for a bit to try to break the cycle, and to show the parents of the bitten kids that they are trying to do something about it.

But that doesn't help this working mom figure out child-care coverage for that week.....

So let's just hope today's the day that her behavior improves.

Here ya go

Well the reunion was nice. Quite a few people came that I hadn't seen in a long time (like 15 years) so that was cool. H, if you are reading, wish you could have been there. The only sucky thing was that since I am still feeling crummy, drinking beer sounded like the worst idea ever and I know people either thought I'd found the Lord (always had the Lord in my heart, thank you, but I follow the "moderation" doctrine) or that I was pregnant (and I'm not that either, Tina) since I did not have a single drink of alcohol.

So about the pic above- how about those savage tans, big bangs, and off the shoulder dresses? I sported all three- you'll find me directly under the center of the balloon arch (nice arch huh?) in the black dress with my shoulder stuck out towards the camera. Good times.

Mr. Sasha is off to a football game and the kids and I are just hanging out. I just sucked down some more Emetrol and a got a new script for Phenergan, so I should be good to go. I think tomorrow's the day I'll turn the corner and be back to normal, although I've been saying that for a few days. But really, I feel it, it's going to be tomorrow.

OMG, has it been 15 years?

So tonight is my the 15 year reunion for my high school graduating class. How has 15 years gone by?

Thankfully, I am feeling a little better this AM. I was a little worried that I planned this damn thing and wasn't going to get to go. Not sure I'll be drinking any beer- that sounds absolutely terrible right now, but that could be because it's only 10 AM.

I'll try to post a funny pic in a bit if I can get my friend K to do some blurring on it.