The Benefits of Hearing Aids

So MIL is supposed to wear hearing aids, but she doesn't, or else they don't work because the following exchange took place on the phone this AM.

The Politician: Hi DD!

MIL: Hi Politician! Do you know where Papa and I are? (the are on a vacay)

The Politician: Colorado!

MIL: You caught a rabbit! Wow- that's so exciting- tell me all about it!

The Politician: ???????

What's at the top of my Season Pass list?

The Office of course!

Now, some of my friends just don't "get" the humor. But Mr. Sasha and I do, so much that we often have to pause the show because we are laughing so hard.
Our favorite quotes from last night:
"Has Roy ever killed your cat?"

"I'm not superstitious, but I'm a little stitious."

"There's no such thing as a rabies doctor."

"Support the Rabid."

Holy crap.... that's some good stuff. Reminds me of the first two seasons of Arrested Development. But I will admit, you either get it or you don't. I was glad to find out that the Lexapro hasn't affected the humor I appreciate, although I still think I am less snarky.

Candy Emergency

The other night the fam went to Sam's to get snacks for The Politician's snack week (yeah, yeah, I know, I'm against it by principle, but I don't have a choice). I walked by the candy aisle quickly as I normally do so as not to be tempted. But those MF-ers had put something so yummy looking on the endcap- Cheesecake Hershey Kisses. I resisted, but I have to admit that I have thought about them for 2 days and all of the sudden about 1 pm today I just couldn't take it anymore.

I actually thought I might have made them up, because I googled them and found no reference. Even the Hershey's website did not have them listed under products. And I posted on BBC and no one else had heard of them. So I thought maybe the Lexapro was making me see things.

So I snuck out of work, drove to Sam's, and yeah, they exist. So of course I bought them. And they are good. Damn......

Speaking of Where's Waldo...

Holy crap- speaking of Where's Waldo, I have the greatest story ever. Well, maybe if you're not in my sorority, it won't make a lot of sense, but hey, you never know, the humor may translate anyway.
So it's about Summer 1995 and a few of us from our local chapter are at the National Convention. Each year at the National Convention they have a "Model Initiation" ceremony to initiate some special pledge who is about a triple legacy and a super-duper student and probably a goody-two-shoes to boot. In order to attend this ceremony (and probably 500 people attend) you must wear ALL WHITE.
So here we are, sitting in Model Initiation, being serious (as we are expected to be), and all of the sudden my sorority sister next to me whispers, "Where's Waldo?" I'm like, "What???" And she says it again and points across the room.
There, in a sea of white, is an older lady in a turquoise blazer! WTH???? Who let her in?
So we are dying laughing, and everyone around us catches on, and starts laughing too, and really, the two of us are probably still known at headquarters as the girls who ruined model initiation at Convention 95.
I will say they never did ask for my pin back, and I was cleared to be an advisor for another chapter from 2001-2006, so maybe it is all forgotten, but OMG it was simply hilarious.

Shopping list

Almost forgot the best tidbit about the Festival..... the shopping list from the Knights of Columbus, who so awesomely did the cooking for our spaghetti dinner. Here's an email that lists their requested shopping list. As sort of a "Where's Waldo?" for you, see if you can spot the interesting items.

Hello All, I am planning on doing the shopping Wednesday evening. Here is the list so far. Please add or make changes if needed:
Plates( plastic/sturdy ones due to the messy spaghetti)
Garlic
Oregano
Basil
Fresh pigs feet (I know, I know)
Pork neck bones ...again, I'm sure it will be delicious :)
Italian meat balls ( 2 per person)
Spaghetti noodles - thin #9 noodles per Tom
Onions
Bread sticks
Hotdogs
Hotdog buns
Big bags of potato chips
Salad ( premade?? or should we make it??)
Lemonade
Cans of Diet coke/ Dr. Pepper/ Sprite
How many 2 liters do we need for the ring toss?
* Also, we will check and see if we already have mustard and ketchup*

Home from the festival

So I'm home from the kids' school Fall Festival, which is the big fundraiser for the year. I believe we made a ton of money, and I'm about to count it. But I do want to tell you that I am worn out and it's frustrating that more parents aren't willing to help.

Two things:

After the festival was over, I discovered that we served skunky Diet Coke (it expired Dec 25, 2006!!!!) and we had a TON of homemade caramel popcorn left (and I so forgot to grab some on my way out). I also took the family photos at the photo booth, and I'm no photographer, but no one else volunteered. I may have to offer refunds........

This is not good

So last night The Politician tells me he needs to go poop. I usually go in there and finish up the housekeeping portion of the task.

Anyway, as I am going through my bedroom into the bathroom, I see a trail of clothes. First shorts, then undies, then a shirt. Now, I'm totally used to the shorts and undies coming off, seems he can do his business best with nothing binding around his legs. But the shirt..... why in the world is that off?

Sasha: Politician, I see you've taken off your shirt. What's that all about?

Politician: Momma, I always take all my clothes off before I go poop.

Sasha: Well, what about at school? Do you take all your clothes off there too? (Something I admit I never thought about.....)

Politician: Of course!

Oh good lord, so he's taking off all his clothes in the boys bathroom, probably leaving them by the door. One of these days, I'm so going to call a call from the Catholics.

Public spectacle at SDC

Mr. Sasha and I decided to take a spur of the moment vacay last week so packed up everything we owned (at least that's what it looked like) and we hopped in the van and went to Brason, MO to take the kids to Silver Dollar City.

A good time was had by all. All except for about 1:00 pm on Friday, when The Politician took a spill and scraped up his right elbow. Being The Best Mom Ever, and oh-so-prepared, I whipped out a first aid kit from my Kecci Mommy bag and used the antiseptic wipe to clean the wound and slapped a band-aid on there. But did I ever tell you that The Politician can be quite dramatic? He claimed that the band-aid was hurting him, shouting, "Please take it off Momma! Please don't make me wear a band-aid!" You'd think I was asking him to wear a pink and purple striped dress!

Anyway, Mr. Sasha took him aside and tried to calm him down, and they ended up in the above chair, and we all figured out that The Politician was really just over-tired and needed a nap. So Mr. Sasha said he would just stay in said chair and let The Politician sleep a little. The Wild Child and I took off on a walk to see what we could see. About 30 minutes later I came back, and I found Mr. Sasha and The Politician BOTH asleep.

But the funniest part is that there were about 10 people standing around, taking pictures of them. Now WTF are those people going to do with those pictures??????

The new phone books are here! The new phone books are here!

No, really, I'm kidding... but the Fall Preview TV Guide is here! I know that I'm the lamest person in the world because I read TV guide and have for as long as I can remember. In fact, I remember going to the grocery store with my mom as a kid and getting excited each week on the day that the TV Guide came out. I always worked the crosswords (sha na na is ALWAYS an answer) and always looked forward to the issue about the new shows so I could plan out my viewing schedule. Now, that has changed somewhat since I now have 2 Tivos, both with dual tuners, so I can in fact record FOUR shows at once! Anyway, in a few days I'll do a post on the shows I'm planning on trying out.

Last year I bought a 4 year subscription on ebay for $4! Isn't that crazy? That transaction combined my two biggest loves, bargains and TV, and made me so giddy!

Yes, I know no one else reads TV Guide (besides my mom), but I really don't care! I am also currently enjoying a subscription to Entertainment that I got as a Christmas gift (soon to end I believe) and a sub to People that has the name of the old owner of our house on there. Now, we've owned our house for almost 8 years, so I have no idea why in March 2007 I started getting a 2 year subscription to People, but I'm not complaining!

Currently going un-read are my subs to Parents and Parenting. Sorry, Politician and Wild Child, right now I'd much rather read about the stars than about healthy snacks, new toys and games we can play together. That's OK w/ you, isn't it?

Yo-key-ah-sa

Frequently, The Politician sprinkles some Spanish in his conversation, and I am just lost. See, because it seemed so cool, I chose to take French in high school, and to be honest, I have absolutely nothing to show for it. Other than my French name was Nicole, which was so much easier to say than Sasha (Sash-uh, not Sosh-uh, in case you are wondering). But I digress.

Anyway, last night:

The Politician: Momma, can I watch Yo-key-asa (imagine a Spanish accent)?

Sasha: Hmm.... I don't think I know what that is. Did you learn that in Spanish class today?

TP: No, Momma, Yo-key-ah-sa.

Sasha: Well, like I said, Politician, I don't know what that is. We have George, The Wiggles, Tigger and Pooh... will any of those work?

TP: No, Momma, that won't work.

Suddenly, it hits me. He means Yo Gabba Gabba, and I silently curse TV Guide.

Backstory: On Saturday morning, The Wild Child, The Politician and I were sitting in the dining room eating breakfast (pancakes for them, yogurt and a Coke for me) and I was flipping through last week's TV Guide (I'm always a week or so behind). The had a little article on what they said was this new kids show involving music and cool bands on Nick or Noggin or such called Yo Gabba Gabba. I'm a sucker for a music show because I have this vision of The Politician being a drummer in a cool rock band and Mr. Sasha and I travelling around with him and me being all "I'm With the Band".

So I set my Tivo for a season pass for this darn show, and by damn, turns out it's as annoying as it's gets. And of course the kids love it. Elijah Wood is on there (???) and some DJ guy who I don't know because I avoid any Bllboard chart that has songs on it that include the word "Featuring" in the name of the artist. Sidebar: I just imdb-d him and I still don't know who he is, although Biz Markie appears to be a part of the cast.....

Anyway, stay away from this show or you'll have "Snacky snack snack snack snack, snacky snack snack snack SNACK!" in your head all day.

If I like a TV show, you can bet it will be cancelled

Veronica Mars - I totally have a girl crush on Kristen Bell, and actually on Veronica Mars the character too. Absolutely my favorite show ever. The whole noir thing was cool, and the Logan angst took me back to 1992.

The Class - Normally Mr. Sasha and I are not into 30 minute sitcoms. We've liked Andrea Anders since she was on Joey, so when we heard she was on this one, we gave it a try- and loved it!

What About Brian- I love me some Barry Watson. Especially after The Haircut. Such a great show that Mr. Sasha and I watched together- he actually discovered this one. Witty sarcasm is what made this show great and we loved the whole Dave-Deena thing. It was like The OC for grown-ups.
Alias - What can I say? I know, I know, this show totally jumped the shark when Nadia was revealed to be Syd's sister, but before that? Best show on TV. Kept me on TWOP often. I was all about the spoilers, and the whole Rambaldi thing, and SD-6.... Good stuff.

Just in case I do have some readers

Go here and vote for entrant 47860. See Ashley's Closet for all the sordid details- but basically there was some major BBC drama (what else is new) and now we all need to vote for the Little Kid to win- I think the contest is over tomorrow, so vote today!

Ebates double bonus offer

Right now, if you follow this link, ebates is doubling their normal bonus, and will be giving $10 to everyone that signs up through this link and makes a purchase (I'll get $10 too). Normally, it's $5, so this is a great time to sign up if you haven't already!

www.ebates.com/doublebonusoffer/index.htm?id=26179778

This is just terrible

Damn M&Ms just came out with a new flavor. RaZZberry. Damn them. They are spectacular. Consider yourself warned. This is almost as bad as Candy Cane Kisses.

Side-effects of being a mom

So pretty often The Politician says something so fraking hilarious, I think, "I'll have to write about this on my blog! He is just as funny as The Big Kid!"

Night before last, Mr. Sasha and I choked at the dinner table because we were trying to hard not to laugh in his face.

But here's the thing- I totally forgot what he said. Can't even remotely remember what the situation was. And I've done that probably 5 times in the last week. This kid should be on Letterman, and I'm serious, but because I am barely keeping it all together, I can't recap the moment for you.

Here's one funny thing I can remember, because it happens each time we have pasta with red sauce, which is once a week or so because The Politician is the Carbohydrate Kid. Anytime, and I mean anytime, we have pasta with red sauce, The Politician strips off his shirt before coming to the table. Without prompting. Long ago, I got sick of doing laundry and all the steps it takes to remove stains, so I started taking his shirt off when we were having anything stain-ish, in an effort to save myself some time. I am now wondering if this is going to be a bad habit to break and if he is going to striping off his shirt when he goes to his girlfriend's house for dinner the first time in 2019.

So maybe the other stories will come back to me, but there are no promises. Because I will probably forget that I forgot.

Notes from School

So The Politician came home from school with this note yesterday:

"The Policitican continues to do well. He is having trouble about inside and outside play. We will work on that." (Note that this is word for word.)

So I ask the teacher who is on duty when I pick him up, and she had no idea what this means, because it was written by the lead teacher, who leaves at nap time, and they didn't talk about this before she left.

OK, so I'm left to dissect this on my own. First you tell me he is doing well. Then you tell me he is having trouble pretty much all day (inside AND outside). So which is it, doing well or having trouble??????? I am quite bothered by this, and actually lose a little bit of sleep over this, and since I suffer from insomnia (damn melatonin is NOT working), sleep is a precious commodity that I am not willing to part with.

So I take the opportunity this AM to ask the lead teacher exactly what she meant, and it turns out he is having trouble keeping his inside play and outside play activities separate. He is evidentally using his outside voice inside, running inside, climing on furniture, etc.

Doesn't sound like a big deal to me. Sounds like a 4 year old boy........

My sense of smell must be hereditary

I must tell you that I have a crazy sense of smell.

I can't wear perfume or strongly scented lotion because smelling the same smell for any length of time makes me sick at my stomach.

I am also very sensitive to food smells- for instance I have forbidden Mr. Sasha from ever again cooking in my kitchen anything that swims. He cooked some salmon last year that I could smell for 2 weeks every time I walked in the house. I also can't throw away any food wrappings in my office trashcan at work because again, smelling popcorn for 4 hours will make me gag, so I have to cart all my food-related trash to the breakroom trashcan.

Anyway, the night we got back from Boston it was really late and the kids were asleep. The next morning The Politician came into our bedroom and crawled in bed between us. He sleepily said "Momma, you smell like Boston."

WTH? What does Boston smell like?

And just the other day, I got in bed with him for a bit to snuggle before he went to sleep, and he said "Momma, you smell like Mimi."

So I smell 58? Must have been my skincare routine. Time for some new moisturizer.

So you guys know about ebates, right?

I'm assuming that everyone on the internet knows about ebates, but maybe that's a crazy assumption. I mean, there was a day that I heard about it and was like "Wow, what a great deal!" Since signing up, I've gotten over $100 in checks from ebates. So here's the referral info, just because someone might now know, and hey, I can always use another $5. But you get $5 too!

I wanted to tell you about Ebates, a shopping site that gives you up to 25% Cash Back every time you shop online. You can shop at over 800 stores including Barnes & Noble.com, Gap, Target, Buy.com and Expedia. Plus you get additional savings with exclusive coupons, free shipping offers, and limited-time sales!
Sign up with Ebates today and we'll each get a $5 bonus when you make your first purchase!
Click here to sign up: http://www.ebates.com/rf.do?id=26179778
Happy shopping!
Sasha

So who am I, and what's this all about?

It's funny- I got into blog reading a few months ago, but I just noticed that most of the blogs I am reading belong to stay at home moms. Which is fine and I truly enjoy reading them, but I haven't seen many (any?) blogs written by moms like me.

Moms that work full-time outside of the home, and have so much going on that some days they feel like it's all going to crashing down on them at any moment. Moms who just can't get ahead of the game and have a constant running to do list because oh my gosh, we are ALWAYS running out of something! Moms that forget to take clean blankets to school on Mondays, forget to give $1 for the pizza party to the teacher, forget to pick up the cleaning, forget to buy an anniversary card, forget to gas up......

Moms that haven't printed out pictures in six months, haven't even touched the baby book for baby #2 who is now 19 months old, didn't write down the days all those teeth popped out, and didn't even know the answer when the nurse asked yesterday at The Politician's 4 year old check-up if he could draw a person with three body parts.

You get the picture. So I'll represent all the moms who are trying to do it all, but really only getting about half of it done..... Cause I can't be the only one of us out there.

So that's the background, and where the title came from. Cause that's me, Barely Keeping It All Together. (and sashasays was already taken.....)

4 years ago today.....

I was 36 weeks pregnant and delivering my first child. My water had broken the night before, just minutes after crawling in bed and telling Mr. Sasha, "I am SO tired of being pregnant." Seriously, just minutes after I uttered that phrase, I felt a POP and realized my water broke.

Of course, I had not packed a bag. So I sat on the toilet and told Mr. Sasha what to pack, and of course we forgot a million things that he had to make several trips home for over the next few days.

Honestly, I don't remember much of those first few days of The Politician's life. His first APGAR was only a 3 and he had a little trouble with the whole suck/swallow/breathe thing and actually stopped breathing right after he was born. So he spent some time in the NICU.

Luckily, this is a happy-ending story where I tell you that we were able to take him home when I checked out two days later.

The Politician has grown to be such a joy- he's funny, sometimes very serious and says some hilarious stuff (he showed the ped today where his esophagus was), and boy can he work the room. You can just see his wheels turning, although he has not yet learned the art of asking parent #2 the same question out of earshot of parent #1 in an effort to get his preferred response. I know that I'll blink and he'll be in high school......