Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Dear Martha Stewart,

The other day I picked up a package of Dove Peppermint Bark Dark Chocolate Promises, and they are heavenly.

But your "tips" written on the inside of each wrapper are spoiling my enjoyment of the chocolate. Yesterday you suggested I "Elevate a store-bought wreath with your own trimmings".

Damn you, Martha. First of all, I'm not even sure where my store-bought wreath is, but hopefully I'll find it soon. But you want to me to "elevate" it? I don't "elevate". Things are displayed "as-is" at the Sasha house. Plus I don't have any "trimmings" and most likely won't be purchasing any either.

You also told my son to "Dress packages in candy stripes for a sweet presentation". Martha, re-using a Christmas-themed sack is about as good as it gets for us.

And to top it off, you told WC to "Dip peppermint sticks in white chocolate and nonpareils". Why don't you come over for that one and help clean up? Sounds messy to me.....


Pin It!


Ann said...

hahahaha! that damn Martha!

rn terri said...

Martha is so intuitive...... lol

Anonymous said...

No shit. That Martha can eat a dick, straight up.


Elaine's Semi-Homemade Life said...

LOL!!!! You have to laugh at Martha. My whole blog would probably disturb her greatly, as I discourage any kind of homemade-ness. ;)
But I DO love peppermint and choc... do they have it as a non-dark choc version? Mmmm...

Sasha said...

E- the bottom IS dark chocolate- you'd love them, I think.

Megan@SortaCrunchy said...

hahahahahhaaha! LOVE IT!


Related Posts with Thumbnails