A Day to Myself!!!!!!

So I had one day of vacation left, which I could carry over to 2008, but hell, I'm not going to leave anything on the table, so here I am at home, ALL BY MYSELF!!!!!!! I am so excited for a Sasha day!

Here's what I have planned for today:

1. Polish off next to the last Aunt Luanne Christmas Cookie, washed down with full-sugar Coke
2. Run 4.5 miles on the treadmill, while watching last night's Amazing Race (that will negate the cookie and coke)
3. Shower
4. Do some laundry (loves it!)
5. Return stuff to Walmart, Target, Best Buy, TRU, Kohl's (because I tend to overbuy and return later)
6. Go to Sam's and do some shopping (beer, chicken wings)
7. Go by the bank and deposit some birthday money
8. Go by the tag office
9. Go to Sephora!!!!!!
10. Possibly drive to Ann Taylor Loft
11. Go to Coach and order those damn earrings no one got me (although Mr. Sasha totally redeemed himself forever because he got me the black Carly I wanted!)

Yay for today!

Text Messages

Text messages I received from Mr. Sasha today while gone for 3 hours visiting with 5 sorority sisters I don't get to see very often:

1. The Wild Child just took off her pants and diaper and peed in the floor of the Rose Petal Cottage. What do I clean it with?

My text back: Clorox Anywhere Spray

2. I assume you ate one of my trees? (he is talking about the two Reese's Peanut Butter Trees I brought home to him from work outage food two weeks ago)

My text back: You snooze, you lose.

3. Your daughter pulled her diaper off while sleeping and peed all over her pink blanket. At least she was aware enough to throw her wet blanket and bunny out of the crib and go back to sleep naked.

My text back: Wow.

You Win Some, You Lose Some

Today's note from school #1: The Wild Child had a very good day. She practiced using her words instead of biting!

Today's note from school #2: The Politician had a hard day today, but made some very good choices to correct/apologize for his mistakes.

Tall Tales

So last night about 9:30 I was in my room catching up on Crowned, which by the way, you should totally be watching (Carson Kressley! Shanna Moakler! Trashy plastic-surgeried moms and snotty daughters compete!), and The Politician came into my room and said, "Momma, Sissy came into my room and spilled water in my bed."

I said, "Hmm.. I don't think that's possible, seeing as how she's asleep in her crib and can't get out."

"Well, I think she did it before she went to sleep."

"Yeah, I don't think so, P. I think you must have done it yourself. Now get back in bed and go to sleep."

So the tall tales begin.

About time for chores

Last night, unloading the kids from the van after school/work:

The Politician says, "Momma, I think it's time to wash your van."

OK, P, why don't you take care of that since you have so much time on your hands......

Holiday Recap, Part 2

My MIL got me this awesome Bare Minerals kit and I am so excited to use it! This AM I used the gloss over my Stainiac in Beauty Queen, and it is so pretty and smells divine!

She also got me the above key chain in mahogany to match my Carly- so pretty!

And my SIL got me a Clinique kit similar to this one above. So fun!!!!!

Mr. Sasha is currently in route to the Coach store in The Big City, seeing as how the navy earrings were huDge (tm Ashley) and totally not huggies as the manager assured Mr. Sasha over the phone. I was disappointed when I opened them and saw how big they were, but hey I hid it well, because it's the thought that counts and he was totally trying to get me something he knew I wanted. But bonus, the original earrings I really wanted are now back in stock and back on their website, so hopefully they can send some our way.

I need to figure out what Mr. Sasha and I are going to do on my birthday Saturday. I was thinking dinner and the movies, since the only times have been to the movie theater in recent years were to see Alvin and the Chipmunks and Cars. Any ideas? We have pretty much all the big name chain restaurants around here, and I like comedies/chick flicks, most dramas and spy thriller type movies. We have a sitter all lined up, so it's a night on the town for the Sashas!

Holiday Recap

Oh, ya'll. It seems like so many funny things happened over the awesome holiday weekend, but I am getting old (34 on Saturday!) and forgetful and I bet I forget to tell you a lot of things. So you may get a holiday recap that has installments for a few days.

1. The Politician is totally uninterested in his V.Smile Pocket. An excellent use of $49. I am thinking of taking back the 2 un-opened games that I paid full price for. I totally should have known better- he likes to play with "stuff" like construction vehicles and trains and I just don't think he'll be a video game kind of kid.

2. He totally did not notice that there was no yellow fire truck. I had this big story concocted that Santa ran out of yellow paint, but didn't have to go there. He did get a red fire truck at his great-grandmother's, so that makes about 7 fire trucks in his possession.

3. The Wild Child dis-robed not one, not twice, but three times during various present openings. Once when my fam was here to put on a new t shirt, ones at the great-grandmother's to put on some Dora PJs, and one last night at Mr. Sasha's family Christmas, when she opened her stocking and found PullUps. She dropped her drawers, pulled off her diaper and tossed it aside, and handed me a PullUp. Everyone in the room was dying laughing at the bare-bottomed little turkey waiting patiently for me to help her into the PullUp.

4. All she really needed for Christmas was Dora house shoes, because she put them on yesterday morning and refused to take them off (except for bath last night) and even slept in them last night!

5. I can't believe I forgot to bring my camera to work today, because he was totally jamming out last night with his new guitar, and it was precious. I'm telling you guys, he's going to be a major rock star and I'm going to be his cool mom who travels with the band.

Gotta go print some paychecks, but I bet I think of more later! Hope your holiday was merry! On a side note, Lexapro is my best friend and I totally did not have the usual anxiety attack at Mr. Sasha's family Christmas celebrations! Yay me!

My son the comedian

Last night on the way home from Christmas celebration #4:

Momma, so when will it be Christmas again?

Birthdays and Cookies

This morning, Mr. Sasha went to get The Wild Child out of bed and he said "Good morning! It's Christmas Eve!"

The Wild Child said, "Cookies!"

I am so pumped because my aunt was just here and brought me her world-famous (well, famous to Sasha) decorated sugar cookies, which are 100 times yummier than those pictured above. These are so good, that Mr. Sasha didn't even know about them for the first few years of our marriage because I hid them from him and rationed them out, having one for breakfast with my Coke in the laundry room with the door shut for about 2 weeks. I'm really stingy with them and they are quite important to me. I share a few now, but still hide some (shh!).

If you are in my neighborhood, stop by because I have an large amount of ham, potato casserole and about 15 Santa Fe rolls left from Christmas Eve lunch. One of my aunts and her Mr. and her boys and their wives totally punked out on us and didn't show. Told you I have a nutty family. Just more cookies for me!

The real meaning of the season: My kiddos have been walking around singing "Happy Birthday Jesus!" which they totally learned at church and I am just so proud. I am trying to raise some thoughtful, kind, reverent children who understand what's it's all really about and I think I'm doing a damn good job.

Today, I'm feeling pretty good, almost like I've got it all together! I imagine this feeling won't last long, so I'll just enjoy while I can.
Merry Christmas to you all! Now quit reading my blog and go hang with your fam!

Two "Oops"

1. Poor Mr. Sasha. I opened up my email on Friday morning to read this from Coach: "Dear Mr. Sasha. Thanks for purchasing these earrings. They have shipped today. Thanks for your business!" Gee, Coach, thanks for emailing the gift recipient so she'll know what her present is.

The only thing we can come up with is that they tied the mailing address he gave to my account, which has my email address on it. I ended up telling him and he was pretty crushed. If you've been following my blog, you may have noticed that those aren't the exact earrings I requested. Seems Mr. Sasha waited a little too long, and the plain silver were out of stock. Actually, there's a much longer story that involves a new employee at the Coach store in The Big City losing his order and CC number, but I won't bore you with that.

The navy really looks pretty, and my watch face is navy, and navy is actually my all-time favorite color, so no big. But I do feel bad for Mr. Sasha.

2. And The Politician- he just about spoiled his whole Christmas this afternoon. He was supposed to be taking a nap.... I waited until he was in his room about 20 minutes, then started unpacking Mr. Sasha's trunk, which has been the hiding spot of all the gifts since Black Friday. I just brought the last load into the kitchen, turned around, and there was P! The gifts were pretty much all in sacks, so I don't think he saw much, but he was confused about what it all was, and wanted to make sure all his presents had gotten loaded on Santa's sleigh. I covered by saying some of it was for his cousins, and some for grandparents. Whew.

I better go check on The Wild Child- she is playing play dough in the dining room all by herself, and I just noticed it's gotten kind of quiet, so there's no telling what's going on in there. Mr. Sasha and P went to The Big City to do some sledding on the man-made mountain.

Oh, and I never did find a yellow fire truck. I did find "a helicopter with a man inside and a hook on the bottom" so hopefully that and the V.Smile and a million games will do.

More later!

How many more days until we can take them back to school?

5 minutes before The Wild Child was going to go to bed, she and The Politician disappeared. (Actually, Mr. Sasha was engrossed in Sports Center or some such and didn't notice them leave the living room.)

Their destination was the bathroom and The Politician decided to "clean her hair" and rubbed a whole bunch of shampoo in the front of her nice already-clean dry hair. Nice. So let's just do the bath all over again.

It's starting out to be a spectacular Christmas break.

An Ode to "Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead"

The presents are done, man! (just like the dishes)

Off to have a drink.....

A Real Dear Santa Letter

Dear Santa,
I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor and sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground. I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.

Here are my Christmas wishes:

I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze, but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.

I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.

If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music, a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals, and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.

On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.

I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your brother," because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.

If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.

If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is calling and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back.

Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you don't catch cold.Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.

Yours Always,

MOM

P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.

I totally can't claim this... got it in an email today and wanted to share.

Should you be feeling generous

I only need 2.5 Pampers Points to order the Kettler Tricycle for our preschool.

I need about 100 Coke Points to order a $50 gift card (full disclosure, that is for myself.)

Should you feel like sharing, or have some lying around not getting used.....

Email me at barelytogether@yahoo.com.

Love ya!

Dec 20th- seriously?

If you lived close to us, The Politician and I would share our pretzel goodies with you! We need to whip up some more and take some to some friends. Excuse the big white block on there, had to remove some personal info.

Had to share this pic taken the day of the Christmas program at school. The Wild Child loves to dress up and twirled around saying "Pretty!" after she had her dress on. I got her a Barbie dress-up outfit for her birthday and can't wait to see what she thinks. Mr. Sasha thinks she will want to wear it 24-7.

I have so much to do that it's not even funny. What I am doing blogging??????

I did get my ham ordered yesterday, although they didn't want my name and said all I needed was to bring in the confirmation number they gave me over the phone. Only problem- I can't seem to locate that. Hope that it turns up before tomorrow.

Also, totally lost my blackjack on the way to work today. I heard it ringing, but couldn't find it. I actually had to borrow a co-worker's phone once I got here and go out to my van and call myself to find it via sound! Hey, it worked!

Raindrops on Roses

and whiskers on kittens... blah blah blah.... these are a few of my favorite things.

Orly Bonder simply rocks. I always use this before my basecoat and my nail polish never chips off. Seriously. My pedicure will last a month and I have to take my polish off because of new growth, not because my polish looks bad.

Clinique Cream Shaper for Eyes in Chocolate Luster. Smudgable. Smooth.

Have I told you I can't wear perfume? I get sick to my stomach smelling the same smell for any length of time. But this is nice and light and fresh smelling, and totally doable.

Oh, now here's the best. Saved it for last. This is the best. lipbalm. ever. If you've never tried it, get in your car and drive to your nearest Sephora and fork over $22 or whatever it costs because you will love me for it.

5 days????

I am super stressing out. I am hosting Christmas Eve at our house for my side of the fam, and I have a lot to do. I need to get off the computer and call Honey Baked Ham right now and hope that it's not too late to order a ham to be picked up on Friday afternoon. My mom is insisting on a ham from there, and even gave me money for it, so I better make it happen. Plus I haven't finished shopping, and Mr. Sasha hasn't actually looked through all the stuff I've purchased for the kids, so I'm not sure how that's going to go. I think I went overboard, but we shall see what he says. I still have two BILs and four dirty santa gifts to get, along with a gift card from somewhere (thanks Tina!) for my 16 year old cousin. Damn, damn, damn. I so need to plan better.

Note from school yesterday: "The Politician did so well in PE. He ran so fast that everyone clapped for him and yelled 'Yeah Politician!".

So glad my lunch-stealing, spitting bully is speedy.

And yup, that's Blake Shelton. We went to the same high school and actually drank many a beer together back in the day. Super guy- seriously.

One More Present Down, A Million More To Go

Mr. Sasha ordered his own Christmas present yesterday- yay for me! It's some fancy-schmancy golf bag with dividers to keep all his million dollar clubs separate, which is very important for some reason. So that's one thing done. One I am really having trouble with: my 16 year old cousin.

Mr. Sasha took The Politician with him to a family birthday dinner last night, and I kept The Wild Child home with me, because the prospect of her in a steak house was not pleasant. The ILs and everyone else dining at Salt Grass should totally thank me for that.

I pretty much spent the evening: searching for her diaper that she had taken off, convincing her to put it back on if she didn't want to sit on the potty, following her around while she moved the Elmo potty seat from bathroom to bathroom, following her back to her room when she said "Come on!" and then getting the door slammed in my face as she died laughing. Oh, it was a riot for sure.

Her pronunciation is flippin' hilarious right now. She is just trying so hard to saying everything I say. She had an eczema outbreak, and I told her I was going to put some cream on her "itchy spot". She repeated "pitchy pot". So stinkin' cute.

A Trip to the Dentist

You Veronica Mars fans will recognize the title, but alas, I must change it to "A Trip to the Office".

On The Politician's sheet today: "The Politician has to go to the office today for spitting on a friend in Spanish class, and on a teacher in the bathroom hall." (The italics were a Sasha touch so you'll take special notice of his completely inappropriate target.)

Lest you think there was one office visit, please note that there were two. This must be some kind of record. Now he has only been to the office one other time (the Mashed Potato Incident), so the asst director said it was not that big of a deal. But still... am I raising a future bully? He better gain a little weight if he's going that route. I don't know of many bullies in the single digit percentiles for weight.

Oh..... and be sure and watch Clash of the Choirs this week- it starts tonight.... someone I went to high school with is directing a choir...... yes, he's a star! Guess who?

Something for your viewing pleasure

Oh, ya'll. I noticed last night that my Tivo picked up a little gem for me- my very most favorite show from Summer 2006, that was, of course, cancelled.

And I'm sure you didn't see it, because no one did! (besides me!)

It's called Lovespring International and is a mock dating agency show, with a little improv thrown in. It's absolutely perfect humor. Of course, Mr. Sasha did not get it, but he sometimes did not get Arrested Development either. You have to be as cool as me to understand it, I suppose.

I just found out that all the epis are online. It's Required Viewing, as far as I'm concerned.

Check it out here and let me know what you think. It's under "Full Episodes" on the left hand side navigation bar.