2 things

1. My gay neighbors got married (or committed or whatever is they do here in rural America) last night and had a little partay. Not that there's anything wrong with that... but when my gay neighbors have a party, all their million friends who drive big SUVs park on both sides of the street, and when I need to run out and get milk, I can barely get out of my driveway because I only have thismuch room. Also, they have a penchant for playing loud music in their backyard (think Raining Men) and they really like to do this late into the night. Luckily they shut it down about 10 pm because I was thisclose to calling the fuzz cause Momma needs her sleep!

2. My Momma Van needs some washing in a bad way. I am absolutely terrified of those automatic car washes that move you down the track...... seriously, I have a panic attack when they tell me to put it in neutral. So I have to rely on Mr. Sasha to do it for me, and that's kind of like asking him to spontaneously do laundry... it's not going to happen without a lot of prodding, and per Dr. Laura, I really shouldn't prod. But that's out the window when The Politician draws pictures in the dirt on the side of the van. So I told Mr. Sasha that today's the day- he's taking the van to get it washed. Whew.... I feel better already.

Oh, and one more thing. Last night, for the first time in about 4 years, we rented a movie. Knocked Up. But here's the thing. We're not sure that we thought it was all that funny, and we've heard from a million people just how great it is. Are we just too old? Does something happen at 33 and your humor appreciation changes? I guess I need to pull out Old School and see if I still get the giggles. Maybe it's just that Knocked Up wasn't all the funny........

The Benefits of Hearing Aids

So MIL is supposed to wear hearing aids, but she doesn't, or else they don't work because the following exchange took place on the phone this AM.

The Politician: Hi DD!

MIL: Hi Politician! Do you know where Papa and I are? (the are on a vacay)

The Politician: Colorado!

MIL: You caught a rabbit! Wow- that's so exciting- tell me all about it!

The Politician: ???????

What's at the top of my Season Pass list?

The Office of course!

Now, some of my friends just don't "get" the humor. But Mr. Sasha and I do, so much that we often have to pause the show because we are laughing so hard.

Our favorite quotes from last night:

"Has Roy ever killed your cat?"

"I'm not superstitious, but I'm a little stitious."

"There's no such thing as a rabies doctor."

"Support the Rabid."

Holy crap.... that's some good stuff. Reminds me of the first two seasons of Arrested Development. But I will admit, you either get it or you don't. I was glad to find out that the Lexapro hasn't affected the humor I appreciate, although I still think I am less snarky.

Candy Emergency

The other night the fam went to Sam's to get snacks for The Politician's snack week (yeah, yeah, I know, I'm against it by principle, but I don't have a choice). I walked by the candy aisle quickly as I normally do so as not to be tempted. But those MF-ers had put something so yummy looking on the endcap- Cheesecake Hershey Kisses. I resisted, but I have to admit that I have thought about them for 2 days and all of the sudden about 1 pm today I just couldn't take it anymore.

I actually thought I might have made them up, because I googled them and found no reference. Even the Hershey's website did not have them listed under products. And I posted on BBC and no one else had heard of them. So I thought maybe the Lexapro was making me see things.

So I snuck out of work, drove to Sam's, and yeah, they exist. So of course I bought them. And they are good. Damn......

Mother's Little Helper

So I've mentioned my insomnia before. I've battled it pretty much since The Politician was born. Basically I don't have a problem falling asleep, but I wake up anywhere from 1:00-3:00 am and am done sleeping. I'm exhausted, but simply can't fall back asleep. I've been taking Melatonin for about 3 years, but recently it didn't seem like it was helping.

So I went in for a general physical about a month ago. One of the things I was going to ask about was Rozerem, a sleep aid that my neighbor the drug rep told me about. He said it was new, non habit forming, and had helped he and Mrs. Drug Rep sleep a lot better. So I mentioned this to the doctor, and he totally surprised me by saying he'd rather me try something else. He said he doesn't like to prescribe sleep aids- he'd rather deal with the root problem, and he thought my problem was a chemical imbalance, or depression. He wanted to put me on a low dose of Lexapro and see if that helped.

I was taken aback, but deep down, I know I've had some depression problems and honestly, I pretty much have a lot of craziness in my family. Like committable craziness.

So I've gotta tell you, here it is a month later, and I love me some Lexapro. Life is grand again, I am sleeping like a baby, and Mr. Sasha told me last night that he is really enjoying living with the new Sasha. One thing, though, I think I've lost a little of my snark. Some of my wit is gone. I suppose it was the general pissed-off attitude I had all the time, but I am pretty sure I was damn funny when I was pissed off.

Speaking of Where's Waldo...

Holy crap- speaking of Where's Waldo, I have the greatest story ever. Well, maybe if you're not in my sorority, it won't make a lot of sense, but hey, you never know, the humor may translate anyway.

So it's about Summer 1995 and a few of us from our local chapter are at the National Convention. Each year at the National Convention they have a "Model Initiation" ceremony to initiate some special pledge who is about a triple legacy and a super-duper student and probably a goody-two-shoes to boot. In order to attend this ceremony (and probably 500 people attend) you must wear ALL WHITE.

So here we are, sitting in Model Initiation, being serious (as we are expected to be), and all of the sudden my sorority sister next to me whispers, "Where's Waldo?" I'm like, "What???" And she says it again and points across the room.

There, in a sea of white, is an older lady in a turquoise blazer! WTH???? Who let her in?

So we are dying laughing, and everyone around us catches on, and starts laughing too, and really, the two of us are probably still known at headquarters as the girls who ruined model initiation at Convention 95.

I will say they never did ask for my pin back, and I was cleared to be an advisor for another chapter from 2001-2006, so maybe it is all forgotten, but OMG it was simply hilarious.

Shopping list

Almost forgot the best tidbit about the Festival..... the shopping list from the Knights of Columbus, who so awesomely did the cooking for our spaghetti dinner. Here's an email that lists their requested shopping list. As sort of a "Where's Waldo?" for you, see if you can spot the interesting items.

Hello All, I am planning on doing the shopping Wednesday evening. Here is the list so far. Please add or make changes if needed:
Plates( plastic/sturdy ones due to the messy spaghetti)
Garlic
Oregano
Basil
Fresh pigs feet (I know, I know)
Pork neck bones ...again, I'm sure it will be delicious :)
Italian meat balls ( 2 per person)
Spaghetti noodles - thin #9 noodles per Tom
Onions
Bread sticks
Hotdogs
Hotdog buns
Big bags of potato chips
Salad ( premade?? or should we make it??)
Lemonade
Cans of Diet coke/ Dr. Pepper/ Sprite
How many 2 liters do we need for the ring toss?
* Also, we will check and see if we already have mustard and ketchup*

Home from the festival

So I'm home from the kids' school Fall Festival, which is the big fundraiser for the year. I believe we made a ton of money, and I'm about to count it. But I do want to tell you that I am worn out and it's frustrating that more parents aren't willing to help.

Two things:

After the festival was over, I discovered that we served skunky Diet Coke (it expired Dec 25, 2006!!!!) and we had a TON of homemade caramel popcorn left (and I so forgot to grab some on my way out). I also took the family photos at the photo booth, and I'm no photographer, but no one else volunteered. I may have to offer refunds........

This is not good

So last night The Politician tells me he needs to go poop. I usually go in there and finish up the housekeeping portion of the task.

Anyway, as I am going through my bedroom into the bathroom, I see a trail of clothes. First shorts, then undies, then a shirt. Now, I'm totally used to the shorts and undies coming off, seems he can do his business best with nothing binding around his legs. But the shirt..... why in the world is that off?

Sasha: Politician, I see you've taken off your shirt. What's that all about?

Politician: Momma, I always take all my clothes off before I go poop.

Sasha: Well, what about at school? Do you take all your clothes off there too? (Something I admit I never thought about.....)

Politician: Of course!

Oh good lord, so he's taking off all his clothes in the boys bathroom, probably leaving them by the door. One of these days, I'm so going to call a call from the Catholics.

Public spectacle at SDC

Mr. Sasha and I decided to take a spur of the moment vacay last week so packed up everything we owned (at least that's what it looked like) and we hopped in the van and went to Brason, MO to take the kids to Silver Dollar City.

A good time was had by all. All except for about 1:00 pm on Friday, when The Politician took a spill and scraped up his right elbow. Being The Best Mom Ever, and oh-so-prepared, I whipped out a first aid kit from my Kecci Mommy bag and used the antiseptic wipe to clean the wound and slapped a band-aid on there. But did I ever tell you that The Politician can be quite dramatic? He claimed that the band-aid was hurting him, shouting, "Please take it off Momma! Please don't make me wear a band-aid!" You'd think I was asking him to wear a pink and purple striped dress!

Anyway, Mr. Sasha took him aside and tried to calm him down, and they ended up in the above chair, and we all figured out that The Politician was really just over-tired and needed a nap. So Mr. Sasha said he would just stay in said chair and let The Politician sleep a little. The Wild Child and I took off on a walk to see what we could see. About 30 minutes later I came back, and I found Mr. Sasha and The Politician BOTH asleep.

But the funniest part is that there were about 10 people standing around, taking pictures of them. Now WTF are those people going to do with those pictures??????

Damn whoever got me this shower gift

So, who got us this book, because you are on my shit list. I am pretty sure it was a gift for The Politician becuase I was all about Curious George (I was cool before the new movie came out and made it hip again) and did his nursery in that theme. We got a lot of George gifts, most of which he was, of course, not at all interested in.

Anyway, The Wild Child decided this weekend that she likes books. Which is great and all, because I'd love to raise a literary giant, but she is currently obsessed with the above book, and I am about to hide it, or possibly throw it out because I swear she made me read it to her 100 times this weekend.

Actually, it's really cute, because she gets all serious and says "Sit!" and pats the chair next to her. Then she says "Buddy" and gets all giggly when she see the baby bunnies in the book. It was really only cute the first 10 times or so, then I just got annoyed. Hopefully we can steer her to something else very soon or this book is Salvation Army-bound.

The new phone books are here! The new phone books are here!

No, really, I'm kidding... but the Fall Preview TV Guide is here! I know that I'm the lamest person in the world because I read TV guide and have for as long as I can remember. In fact, I remember going to the grocery store with my mom as a kid and getting excited each week on the day that the TV Guide came out. I always worked the crosswords (sha na na is ALWAYS an answer) and always looked forward to the issue about the new shows so I could plan out my viewing schedule. Now, that has changed somewhat since I now have 2 Tivos, both with dual tuners, so I can in fact record FOUR shows at once! Anyway, in a few days I'll do a post on the shows I'm planning on trying out.

Last year I bought a 4 year subscription on ebay for $4! Isn't that crazy? That transaction combined my two biggest loves, bargains and TV, and made me so giddy!

Yes, I know no one else reads TV Guide (besides my mom), but I really don't care! I am also currently enjoying a subscription to Entertainment that I got as a Christmas gift (soon to end I believe) and a sub to People that has the name of the old owner of our house on there. Now, we've owned our house for almost 8 years, so I have no idea why in March 2007 I started getting a 2 year subscription to People, but I'm not complaining!

Currently going un-read are my subs to Parents and Parenting. Sorry, Politician and Wild Child, right now I'd much rather read about the stars than about healthy snacks, new toys and games we can play together. That's OK w/ you, isn't it?